Friday, October 25, 2019

October Horror Challenge 2019 #72: "Manos: The Hands of Fate"





I swear, every damn year I forget how horrible this movie is and I try watching it again. All I remember is having fun snarking about how bad it is, and I forget that it's one of the most tediously, terribly done movies ever made, and the only reason I had fun watching it was because my friends and I are hilarious, not because there's anything good about the movie. As a fan of many low to no budget films, this movie really pisses me off, because people will say "oh, of course the movie sucked, the guy had no experience making movies, and the actors were amateurs, and there was no budget, blah blah blah," and NO. THAT IS NO EXCUSE.

Seriously, everything that this filmmaker could screw up, he did. The actors are bad, but I've seen bad actors still turn out good movies, and there's no budget, but I've seen amazing filmmaking done with no budget, I've seen filmmakers with no experience do well on their first movies, and the story, when you whittle it down to the bare bones, could make an ok movie. Family on a trip get lost, have to stay at secluded house for the night, house turns out to be home to evil cult, evil cult tries to take their souls. I can name two Tales from the Crypt episodes made with a similar plot, and they weren't terrible. This guy could probably have made a movie at least worth watching once, but he sucked, and he made this crap instead, and I HAVE SEEN IT LIKE EIGHT TIMES WHY DO I KEEP WATCHING THIS MOVIE?!

Seriously,  even with MST3K sarcastic commentary, this movie is hard to watch. I found this poster while looking for a poster for "Manos," and this would probably be a better movie:


No amount of sarcasm can save this drek. It's too late for me, save yourselves.

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