Friday, October 14, 2022

October Horror Challenge 2022 #59: "Midsommar"

This is another movie that everyone was talking about after it came out, so I had to hide on the moon under a rock to avoid spoilers, because everyone everywhere was ready to ruin this movie for me. I got the sense that the movie was somehow about a cult of some kind, but that's all that stuck with me. I can't wait to see what this movie is actually about!

So how do I explain this plot without giving too much away? Let me try. Ok, this movie is about a group of friends who travel to Sweden to experience their friend's famed midsummer festival (their friend is a foreign exchange student from Sweden) but what starts as an idyllic getaway soon turns dangerous and deadly. oh, and there's kinda a cult involved too. There, now you know everything you need to know about the movie. Scream and run away from anyone who wants to tell you more.

I hate writing reviews like this one. I absolutely hate it when I dislike a movie that everyone else seems to love. I wish I could just sit here and enjoy every movie, so I never have to do this, but alas, that ain't the world we live in, so here goes nothing. The acting in this movie is good. Everyone does a good job with their roles, particularly Florence Pugh, which I feel I have to give her extra kudos, because she had to play such an unlikable character. that's right, I'm going to be the big meanie here who doesn't like Dani, the main character in this movie. She's one of those people who thinks her pain is worse than anyone else's pain and the world should revolve around her. At first I thought her boyfriend's friends were jerks for not liking her, but then I realized I didn't like her, either, especially by the end of the movie. What a self-centered bitch she is. I get the feeling that we're supposed to like her, but it's a no for me. Yes, the events of her life are tragic, but they don't give her a "get out of being a human being free" card.

None of the characters is very likeable. For supposed best friends, they sure are willing to turn on each other quick when things get the least bit hairy (literally at one point, haha). I'm not traveling overseas with anyone who's not gonna be willing to even pretend to look for me if I come up missing. And yeah, I guess there's good gore in this movie too, but speaking of gore, why the actual fuck didn't EVERYONE leave after two people died a bloody, torturous death? Why wasn't that game over for these idiots? talking about respecting other cultures, I can respect your culture from way the hell over here where you can't decide to just kill me in my sleep. I know it's easy to be judgmental of characters in a horror movie when we're not in the same situation, but guys, they don't even TRY to leave or escape, before, during, or after it's too late. Does not compute. I would have nope'd the fuck out of there, and so would any rational person.

I debated whether or not to say this, but I have to or I'll die.

SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT

I liked this movie the first time I saw it, back when it was called "The Wicker Man." Much better. And the worst part of it is, by the end of this movie, they're not even ripping off the original Wicker Man, which is a classic, they're ripping off the shitty 2006 Wicker Man remake, which is a terrible movie. They even have a guy dressed up like a bear getting burned alive as a sacrifice, which is exactly the same thing that happens in the Wicker Man remake, except this movie doesn't even have Nicholas Cage to entertain us. Come ON, people. Look, the bottom line is that most people disagree with me on this. This movie was almost universally loved, so you can probably safely ignore me and watch this movie and have a good time, but for my money, I wish I had these two hours of my life back so I could watch something else.

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