Tuesday, October 16, 2012
11/11/11: The Prophecy
*yawn* Oh, excuse me, did I sleep through your boring movie? Actually, I WISH I'd slept through this movie, since it's silly and stupid and overwrought, and no one over the age of five should be surprised by the "twist" ending, but whatever, I didn't have anything better to do today. So what's this about? Well, a man is having nightmares of his wife and son dying in a fire, and he's a writer who hasn't published a book in awhile so his publisher is after him, and he attends a group therapy workshop about grieving parents, but he thinks he's too cool to learn from them, so he rushes off in his car and gets into an accident but walks away without a scratch so he decides there must be a purpose to his life, and his brother calls to summon him because his father is dying, and his brother is a preacher who is being beset by supernatural happenings, and this probably sounds interesting, but what I'm not telling you is that I'm piecing it together from thousands of disjointed scenes that are thrown at us out of nowhere, so I'm making it sound like it makes sense but it doesn't make sense onscreen. Plus it's all boring, and I knew what was going to happen in the first five minutes (give or take, I might have dozed off for a bit there...actually, no, I just wish I had). The movie has a lot of CGI thrown at us, and a lot of jump scares (most of which elicit more laughter than anything else because they look fucking ridiculous...at one point, it look like Jack Frost is attacking them through the living room window, and this scene made me giggle). Seriously, you've seen this movie before, and done better, and there are better things to do with your time now. Go do those things instead.