Sunday, October 18, 2009

Children of the Corn: Revelation (movie #53)

Someone please remind me to stop watching direct to DVD sequels. I mean,the movie "Boogeyman" had 2direct to DVD sequels that were both better than the original,but that's the exception there. Plus, once we're getting into the SIXTH sequel to a series and the movies ate DTV, we're most likely digging into the toilet.

Such is the case with "Children of the Corn: Revelation." As creepy as kids can be sometimes, even creepy kids don't have a prayer of saving this movie. The basic "plot" consists of a woman who is concerned because she hasn't heard from her grandmother, so she travels to the town where her grandmother lived top find out what's going on. She finds out that her grandmother died (we already know this because we see it happen in the opening scenes of the movie) and while going through her grandmother's stuff she finds that her grandmother was involved in a cult of evil kids who killed their parents and then later killed their cult leader. Of course the cult leader is pissed about this, so he wants to get revenge from beyond the grave, and now he's killing the former children of his cult(now elderly people) and I'm making all this sound much more interesting than it is.

That's really the problem here, of course. This movie could have been ok if anyone involved had given half a shit about the proceedings. the premise wasn't bad, but the script doesn't give anyone anything interesting to do, none of the actors care, and the creepy kids can't even act well enough to look sufficiently creepy. I've seen the seventh installment in a few series. I actually really like the seventh "Friday the 13th" movie, the seventh "Halloween" and "A Nightmare on Elm Street" are almost on par with the originals, etc. This time around, the movie sucked not because it didn't have a chance, but because no one involved in making the movie even cared if it was good or bad. So why make a movie then? Why not do something productive, like pick your belly button lint or something? I don't get it.

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