Sunday, October 11, 2009

Blood of the Beast (movie #35)

This movie was advertised as a brilliant new experience in terror,and of course I bought it. Hey, it was cheap. If filming a bunch of your friends in your backyard is a "brilliant experience in terror," then I need to get myself a camera, because I could do this with very little effort. But that'[s not really my problem with the movie. the acting isn't really that bad, and the guy came up with a somewhat original story, it's the pretentiousness that sinks this ship, folks.

If there's one thing I've learned about pretentious people, it's that they never think they're being pretentious. This movie was made by an obvious connoisseur of film and high art, and he clearly thought his movie was going to be high art, so he treated it as such. The opening sequences of this movie contain subtitles that give us the backstory over a bunch of stock footage that's probably trying to make a statement about the commercialism of society or something. Anyway,the story of this movie is that the government and science discovered a way to create "perfect" human life with computer engineering, so instead of people being born the old fashioned way, nowadays people are engineered in labs. Of course, there was a flaw in the design, so people start degenerating into killers, and no one knows why. A creepy old preacher thinks he has the answer (don't ALL preachers think they have the answer?) and a group of friends on a hike are getting sporadic reports about all this and they're not sure if what they're hearing is even true,so of course they start fighting about it...yeah, that's what I'd do if I was in the woods hiking with my friends and I started getting reports that the world was ending,I'd start fighting about the way our culture relies on the media for information, and then I'd start fighting about the nature of human existence. I wouldn't, you know,hide or anything. I'd walk around out in the open and fight with my friends and wait to be attacked by something. Because you know that's what's going to happen.

None of this is really that bad, and after the opening sequence I even started getting into the story, and then in the last twenty minutes everything turns to shit. The guy decides to turn the movie into a silent film, with no audible dialogue and more subtitles onscreen telling us what people are saying. Ugh, way to ruin the movie, douchebag. I'm sure the director masturbated over copies of this film thinking about what a genius he was, but he took a good premise and totally fucked it over, so color me unimpressed.

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