2020 October Horror Challenge #56: "The Dark (Rifftrax)"

I remember I watched this movie a few years ago, the regular version without the Rifftrax commentary.  Ugh. I don't know how I made it through that. I've watched some terrible movies for this challenge, but I usually at least TRY to start out with a movie I think might be good. I watched the trailer for this movie and even that couldn't make it look good, so I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe I was drunk. If not, I'm sure I wished I was by the end of the movie.

So this is about um...an alien presence on earth that lurks in the darkness and kills people by ripping them apart. We know it's coming because there's a voice that stage whispers loudly "THE DAAAARRRK!" and a bunch of other phrases when themonster is about to attack (and I know it sounds like it, but I'm not making that up). With every kill, the monster gets stronger, and it seems to have some kind of mind meld with a local psychic woman, who tries to warn the police and reporters, but no one ever listens to her (or even suspects that she might be involved,  because the cops in this movie are idiots).

I'm glad I had the sarcastic commentary to keep me company this time around. Some of the best comments:

"Cinematography by a guy who sat on the remote and accidentally turning the contrast ALL THE WAY DOWN."

"Ok guys, it's time for "The Dark" to do what it does best: kinda convince you there's sort of a movie going on somewhere on the screen."

"He drives his corvette with his sunglasses at night because he's an 8 year old's idea of cool."

"If you want to shoot a very dark movie called "The Dark" there'sno better place for that than Santa Monica."

"Dammit, Sauron, we told you we don't have the one ring. Now buzz off."

"We just saw him bust through a wall, so let's hide behind this wall!"

"Honestly, it looks like the writer got bored and let their kid brother finish the script."

"What?! That was so easy! 20,000 dead cops and all they needed was a match!"

I made the smart choice this time watching this movie with jokes. Don't watch this without it.