I must continue my MST3K marathon with this movie. This is one of those black and white horrors that I saw as a kid, but I don't remember much about it. Something about some terror from beyond space coming to earth and killing us all. At one point in United States history, everyone was obsessed with space travel and aliens killing us all. For every era of human history, there's a horror movie subgenre that connects with people and reflects their fears onscreen. I'm pretty sure this movie is terrible though, since I had horrible taste as a kid, so I'm glad this movie is available with Mystery Science Theater 3000 sarcastic commentary.
This movie is about a group of astronauts who set out into space to conquer the unknown, but what they discover is a tiny asteroid whose residents are under attack, and they shrink to the size of the asteroid's inhabitants, and they must fight the attackers in order to survive.
I think I get the point of this movie, in that it has a plot that's trying to teach a moral or lesson. A lot of Twilight Zone episodes used tales of aliens to try and teach lessons too. In this movie, the astronauts in the beginning don't understand why they are suddenly tiny, and what happened to cause this. Over the course of the movie, they are reminded of their actions that hurt and damaged the planet. They weren't aware they were causing harm, but their misdeeds have led to them being inhabitants of this planet now. Suddenly, they are the people who they used to destroy, so they can see firsthand why they were so wrong in the past. The movie Avatar didn't do it first folks, this movie was way ahead of its time. Too bad it didn't have a big enough budget to pull off this idea, so it just looks ridiculous.
So here's exactly what happens to teach us this important moral lesson: the power of the evil in this movie is called "the unknown," and the astronauts keep rambling on to warn of what will happen if "the unknown" combines with the fighting spirit of the aliens on the planet . So they live in fear of all this, meanwhile "the unknown" just waltzes in from outer space, surrounds them, and we find out that "the unknown" is their power, all the evil THEY are capable of doing. Haha, you've been afraid of yourselves this whole time, losers. So since they've been afraid their own power will attack them, they have to convince "the unknown" that it has already won, the fight is over, and then the power thinks it has won so it goes into hibernation and stays dormant for years. Heavy, man. Talk about a preachy plot, and since they don't really have a budget, they basically just stand onscreen and yell all this at us.
But wait, there's more! Of course, when they realize they are lying to repress themselves, the power inside them fights back, and so they are in danger (of themselves...oh, I give up) so the big fight at the end of the movie ensues, and the alien woman they love is almost kidnapped by the monster (that is the physical representation of their own power, or something) and they fight and defeat it, but they can never be with the one they love, because...um...the script says so. Then the movie ends where it began, and history repeats itself, because we never learn our damn lessons, do we? Here are some good quotes from the MST3K commentary:
"The phantom planet is quilted for softness."
"Attack of the killer peanut brittle."
"It's a spazz-tronaut."
"Houston, we have a moron."
I think the Houston one is my favorite. I really wish someone would remake this movie with like, actual money for special effects, so the moral of the story can be hidden in actual events happening onscreen instead of just preached at us by characters dressed in stupid costumes. That would be a cool movie. This is not.
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