Friday, October 16, 2020

2020 October Horror Challenge #54: "Subspecies IV: The Awakening (Rifftrax)"






I've always heard that the Subspecies movies are terrible, but I never watched them for myself (except for "Vampire Journals," which is apparently a spinoff movie). This is the 4th movie in a series,  and just by seeing that movie poster, I gotta say it isn't a good sign if they can't even make the movie look good for a poster. Yeah. Once the movie starts, it doesn't get much better, and it looks like they expect you to have watched all the other movies, so they don't bother to explain what the hell is going on or anything, but I don't think it would make more sense if you have seen the other movies (just a guess). Basically an ancient vampire who possesses the bloodstone, which grants him unlimited power but also poisons his mind and drives him insane. 

He turned a woman into a vampire so she could be his eternal wife or something,  but her sister tried to help her escape,  but then they were in a car accident, and the vampire woman is retrieved by a doctor who works for another doctor who is also a vampire but wants to be cured. Something like that. What a huge pile of crap. Luckily, I benefited from the Rifftrax commentary. Here are some of the best jokes:

"If the hospital has armed guards, it might be worth finding another provider."

"Maybe turn off the giant spotlight that's pointed at the place you're sneaking into?"

"Well, if I'm gonna die, might as well go ahead and bury myself,  save some money."

"Help! We killed the bad guy but the movie still refuses to end!"

"Ancient evil: undone by an old lady and a slightly cracked door."

I don't recommend trying to watch this movie without the benefit of the Rifftrax commentary, but it was a lot of fun with the commentary. 

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