Well THAT was fun. Due to my sudden onset permanent psychological damage I just gave myself by watching that movie today, I desperately needed to counteract it with something, so Mystery Science Theater 3000 to the rescue! They did a parody of a terrible 80s no-budget horror movie called "Hobgoblins," so I checked it out today.
As far as I can tell, this movie is about a security guard at an old movie studio who is so incompetent at his job that his bosses keep hiring him assistants, and he's guarding a secret he keeps locked away in a vault in the basement of the studio. It turns out that years ago, an alien spacecraft crash landed at the studio, and some horrible creatures came out, and they look like a cross between Gizmo from the movie Gremlins and the critters from the movie, uh, Critters, and the monsters from Ghoulies. So if all those movie creatures got together and made a really boring baby, it would look like the creatures from this movie. Anyway, these creatures get into people's heads and make them think they're living their wildest fantasies, all the while they feed off their victim's brains until the people die. Soon the assistant security guard accidentally sets the hobgoblins free because he's an incompetent jackass, and he has to catch them before it's too late.
That description makes the movie sound ten times better than it is. Trust me, it's so boring that it melted my brain, and the only redeeming quality was the hilarious snarky comments made by the MST3K cast. Here are some of my favorite lines:
"You know, this is hell. So when we meet people now, we'll be able to report what hell is like."
"Look, the car will do anything to get out of the movie."
"Part of me is laughing. The part of me that hates life."
"This movie is giving me Current Traumatic Stress Disorder."
So without commentary, this movie sucks rabid donkey balls, but with commentary, it was a lot of fun. Just what I needed today.
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