Saturday, October 28, 2017

October Horror Challenge 2017 #94: "Return to Sleepaway Camp"



The original Sleepaway Camp was one of my favorite slasher movies. It was cheesy and silly, but you got to see bullies get slaughtered as punishment for their crimes, and the ending was creepy and transgressive. Definitely a classic slasher. The two sequels went an even more campy route, more comedy than horror, and Pamela Springsteen took over the role of Angela from Felissa Rose, who played her in the first movie. The sequels were fun, but part of me always wished they'd return and continue the story from the first movie. Several years ago, I and the other Sleepaway Camp fans got our wish when the director of the first movie and some of the original cast teamed up to make a direct sequel to the original. I was excited about it and couldn't wait to see it, and the plethora of terrible reviews didn't stop me from wanting to see it, though it did give me pause and push the movie further down on my priority list. I'm finally getting to watch it today, though. Here goes nothing.

This movie takes place 30 some years after the events of the original movie. The camp is different, but some of the employees are the same, and they're all still haunted by the events of the first movie. Soon, a new generation of kids are getting bullied by counselors and other campers, and grisly murders start happening again, seemingly as revenge for the bullying. What's going on? Does it have anything to do with the killer from the first movie, who's been locked away in an asylum for the past 30 some years?

Oh boy, where do I start with this movie? Ok first if all, I appreciate the idea of bringing back the original cast, but it's asinine having counselors who are in their 40s instead of teenagers. The "wacky hyjinx" that teenage counselors got up to in the first movie seem ridiculous when middle aged people are doing it. Plus the acting is terrible. The first movie didn't have the best performances, but at least the actors could recite their lines without sounding like stilted, awkward robots.

Plus the characters are incredibly annoying. I read people's complaints about this after the movie came out, but I thought people we're exaggerating how awful it was. Newsflash: they weren't. The characters suck. There's not one likable one in the bunch, and since none of them can act, the movie is physically painful to watch at times. In the original movie, I at least cared about the main character Angela and her cousin Ricky. Here I just wanted everyone to shut up and die, but unfortunately there aren't nearly enough murders to thin out the annoying cast. That's right, there aren't even cool deaths to look forward to like there were in the original.

There's one death scene near the beginning involving a deep fryer, a nod to the infamous "boiling water" death from the original, but that's really it for cool kills. They try at some points later on, but the long, boring, annoying stretches of tedium in between kills mean that they can't hold my interest enough to make the movie worthwhile, especially since the one really cool sounding creative kill happens OFF CAMERA. Ugh.

It's like these people have no idea how to make a movie. Except that I know they know how to make a movie. They made the original Sleepaway Camp, so I know they know better, it's like they just don't care. That pisses me off more than anything else. Wooden acting, way too old counselors, annoying shithead kids, bad dialogue, not nearly enough cool kills. This is bullshit. The original movie had fans that have loved it for like, 30 years. Thats supposedly the reason behind this sequel, a gift to the loyal fans. Well this fan says you can take your crappy movie and shove it. We deserved better than this.

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