Look at that lying ass poster calling this the last chapter like we don't know if the movie makes enough money there are going to be more. This is the first of the Saw movies to be released in 3D. i guess by this point in the series the producers realized the franchise was on its last legs and they wanted a gimmick to get people into the theater, so they did what horror movies have done time after time over the years: they turned to 3D to entice viewers to come and see the movie. When you think about it, it's kinda gross, because 3D means that things will be flying at the screen to get viewers ' attention, and since this is one of the Saw movies, the things that are going to be flying at you are blood and guts and body parts. Icky. Ew. What a time to be alive! Let's do this thing.
So this is part 7 (awww, look honey, our little horror movie has 6 sequels now!) and the word of the day is "sadistic," because the gore in this movie is completely sadistic, I think even moreso than in the other films. The opening kill scene is bigger and badder than anything that has come before. It's really disgusting, seriously, and I do this for a living so I KNOW disgusting. So in this sequel, there's a battle raging over who will carry on the Jigsaw legacy (if you still care about that), meanwhile someone who survived a Jigsaw trap in a previous movie is seeking revenge. As if that weren't plot enough, there's a self-help guru wandering around and seeking to help and inspire Jigsaw's surviving victims, but he has a dark secret of his own that could cost his life or the lives of those he cares about. Talk about a jumbled mess.
Quick question for y'all. if there were a serial killer who is smart enough to set elaborate mechanical traps forcing his victims to kill themselves, and you knew about this killer, would you risk pissing him off by pretending to be one of his victims and going on a world tour to promote the book you wrote about it? Because that's what the idiot in this movie does, and I'm trying to figure out if he's a special kind of stupid or if his breed of idiocy is more prevalent than at first I thought. Seriously, WTF is wrong with him? If there were a real killer like Jigsaw around, I would want to stay as far away from him as possible, not purposely antagonize him by claiming to be one of his victims to make money. It's good to see Tanedra Howard in this movie though, and I really enjoyed watching her call him out on his bullshit.
Allright, let's address the elephant in the room. For the past few reviews I've been mostly avoiding talking about the whole Jigsaw legacy thing, and how the backstory has gotten so convoluted it doesn't even seem to make sense to the people writing it anymore. But what do I really mean about that? What's wrong with a little backstory? I'll tell you what, there's nothing LITTLE about this backstory anymore, it's grown into a full blown EPIC SAGA at this point, and so many twisty topsy-turvy things have happened that I can't even keep track of them all, and it's all silly to me at this point, but allow me to sunrise here (and I'll warn you right now, there are going to be spoilers ahead, so stop reading now if you haven't seen these movies and you don't want me to ruin them for you).
SPOIERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
So first Jigsaw recruits Amanda to help him (which is really BS because her Jigsaw trap was that she had to kill another guy and dig through his guts for a key, not anything that shehad to do to disfigure herself like the other victims had to do, so she really didn't sacrifice anything). Then Costas Mandylor had to go and pretend to put his sister's killer through a fake Jigsaw trap and John got pissed and at first kidnapped, the subsequently recruited him, then John and Amanda (my autocorrect tried to change that to John McCain and I really want to leave it) start working together, but Costas wants the games all to himself, so he leaves Amanda a note that gets her killed, and John passes on the six envelopes with the intended victims listed in them, but he hands a seventh envelope to his wife Jill because he doesn't trust Costas and he seems to realize that arrogance will be the death of his legacy if he doesn't get Jill to take care of Costas, then Jill tries to kill Costas with a Jigsaw trap, but he escapes it, and now he wants to kill Jill
Meanwhile, we find out that John was a seemingly normal guy until his wife was accosted by an addict at her free clinic and he first got revenge on that guy with a couple of his early traps, then he just goes along on his merry way making more traps and creating more victims along the way, because he has this selfish idea that he's "helping" people and making them appreciate life again or some hogwash like that. And this isn't even all the twisty plot threads, there's more that I'm leaving out because I'm tired and I want to finish this review sometime before Jesus comes back. But do you see what I mean? it's a lot, is what I'm saying, and as much as I love the third movie in the series, I feel like it's the one that's responsible for the movie having to go in this direction and wind itself into a ball of crap that eventually got too heavy and fell and crushed the series. Some people might like it, but I just think it's nonsense now, and the next movie in the series proves that, because instead of continuing from where it left off, it backpedaled and almost acted like at least the last two movies never happened. to me they tried to reign it back in and do what they could have done after part 2, made a new person Jigsaw every movie and to hell with the long and winding road strewn with subplots that get so tangled no one can untangle them. Poo. Just give me my regular old psycho killer story and take out all this extra nonsemse. And that's what I think about that, we now return to your regularly scheduled blog. Thanks for coming to my TED talk. Now go back and watch the first three movies and pretend the rest don't exist.
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