Wednesday, October 4, 2017

October Horror Challenge 2017 #16: "Blood Valley: Seed's Revenge"



I just watched a good movie, so I had to balance things out by watching a hideously terrible movie, right? Actually, I was scrolling through movies and couldn't decide what to watch, and it was taking forever and I was getting really annoyed with myself, so finally I just clicked on this one, and the title sounded so horrible that I simply couldn't resist.

So apparently there was a horror movie named "Seed"? I've seen a horror movie named "Seed," but even though it was bad, it wasn't THIS bad. Good lord. (Just kidding, I totally know this is supposedly a sequel  to that movie, but it's  much worse in my opinion, and when your movie is "much worse" than a Uwe Boll movie, you should feel very bad). So yeah, this is a sequel, and boy is this Seed guy pissed off, so whatever happened to him must have been pretty bad. Poor Seed. Anyway, this movie is about four girlfriends on a road trip to go to the one girl's wedding. They're driving through the desert and they run afoul of a crazed killer.

The movie is really confusing for me at first, because it jumps around through time a lot, but it took me awhile to realize that's what's happening here, so it really just seemed like someone accidentally dropped the movie into a blender, and the filmmakers didn't care enough to sort it out, so they just released it as-is.  Seriously though, that really wasn't a good idea, because as bad as this movie is, it would clearly have been better if it just went from point A to point B without trying to jump around through time the way it does. It's seriously annoying and distracting.

One thing the movie does get right is the gore. It's icky and nasty, and there's some terrific nudity too. It's not enough to distract me from the annoying jumping back and forth through time though, or the bad acting. I feel kinda mean saying that, because it's clear that at least the two female leads are trying their best, but the rest of them really don't even seem to care. It's pretty bad when I can't even remember their damn names. I only know the main character, the one who is getting married, is named Christine because her name is in the description of the movie. The others are annoying girl, German girl, and best friend girl, and "annoying" and "best friend" look so similar I wouldn't be able to tell them apart if "best friend" weren't wearing her hair in a ponytail. And why does the weird female cop the girls pick up at one point have a German accent too? For no reason? Do a lot of people in  the Nevada desert speak with a German accent? Weird. Overall, this movie is just plain bad, and it gives low-budget horror movies a bad name. Shame on you, Seed 2.

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