October Horror Challenge 2018 #101: "The Amazing Mr. X"

I think this movie was trying to be a film noir, but it kinda stumbled and failed. It's a shame too, because it had some ok ideas and it could have been better if about 30 minutes of boring filler crap had been cut out. Movies like this always seem to mistake long shots of people staring as poignant or artful when they're really just annoying.

In this movie, two sisters live together in a creepy old house by the sea. One sister used to live in the house with her husband until he disappeared at sea and is presumed dead, and now she can't seem to let go of his memory even though she has a new man in her life. She seeks help from a psychic, and soon both sisters are captivated by the psychic, while the new boyfriend tries to prove the psychic is a fraud.

The seaside setting is actually really beautiful and spooky, and the crows that keep popping up are good little providers of jump scares and a sense of foreboding, since crows are supposed to be harbingers of death. Like I said, this movie could have been good with some serious tweaking, because I like the idea and it works.

The acting isn't great,  but it's not terrible either, and the plot was twisty and morbid, even if the twists weren't terribly hard to figure out. It's mostly the long pauses and staring into nothing that ruin this one.  I wanted to scream at my TV screen for them to get on with it, which isn't what you want to be doing for your horror movie. It ends up being too slow and plodding to be worth checking out. Maybe they'll remake it someday and fix all the errors. Or you can just watch "Des Dioboliques" or "Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte" instead, since they handled similar ideas much better.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #100: "Rifftrax: Samurai Cop"

And I'm sliding into 100 movies with an easy one, listening to the Rifftrax guys make sarcastic comments about a cheesy 90s movie. This movie is awful, but Samurai cop's hair is spectacular! There's a lot of people getting eviscerated with samurai swords and having their throats cut, and being burned with boiling oil (eeewww...that part actually made me cringe). And the horribly racist stereotyping in this movie is almost as cringey as the violence, good lord. It's cool to see a bunch of people get stabbed and shot and pummeled by overly violent second rate action heroes. Funtimes, gentlemen.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #99: "Thankskilling"

So you know how I'm always talking about how horror movies are an art form, and they can be full of nuance, character development, irony, and an examination of the fear if death and the hope for a triumph of good over evil? How horror movies can be just as deep and meaningful as any other film from any other genre? Well this is NOT one of those films. This is a slasher movie about a Turkey that comes to life and goes on a killing spree.

That's not to say that this movie isn't fun. I had a lot of fun with it (when I wasn't wishing I could stab myself in the face because of its stupidity). I love the flashback to the first Thanksgiving, with some awesome boobs (yay gratuitous nudity!) And there's some fun gore too. I mean, really,  this movie isn't to be taken seriously (though I do love how the Turkey is sworn to kill any white man to avenge all the genocide the pilgrims did back in the day...girl, same). Don't think too much and if you like some snarky funtimes with your horror, check this one out.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #98: "Scared to Death (1981)"

This poster looks really cool. I was excited to see that I'd found another 80s horror movie that I've never seen before,  and I briefly read the description, something about a killing spree in Los Angels, the police doesn't know who is committing the horrible mutilations, but a scientist and a cop figure out what's going on and have to venture into the city's sewer system to track a killer.

Sounds great! Sounds like it might even be a slasher, and those are my favorite horror subgenre, so I was stoked. It gave me pause that a "scientist" had to search the sewer system with the cop, but maybe it's a deformed science experiment turned psycho killer? Still sounds cool. Then I started searching for movie posters to include with this review as the movie was beginning...and ruh roh, suddenly I wasn't as excited about this movie.

I thought about including one of those other posters with this part of the review to illustrate what I mean, but I feel like they give away way too much, so I'm not going to do that. Suffice it to say that the killer in this movie looks RIDICULOUS,  and a lot of the other posters showcase close-up pictures of the killer, which defeats the purpose of the movie trying to keep the killer hidden in shadow for most of the movie. If your special effects look silly, it's best to hide that for as long as you can, and plastering pictures of your horrible looking creature all over the poster for your movie or the cover of the DVD is not a great idea.

I advise you not to look up other pictures from the movie before you see it. Keeping some things to the imagination is a good thing, and seeing this killer up close might just kill any excitement you have for seeing the movie. It plays out like it's a straight up slasher for most of it's running time (and maybe that horrible costume is just a mask the killer wears for some reason) and it's a shame to ruin that.

Aside from how silly the killer looks, the movie isn't too bad. People getting picked off by a killer, cops have no clues what's going on, finally scientists step up and say "hey, something's not right here) and soon cops +science have to team up to fight this result of scientific experimentation going horribly wrong. I'm not a huge fan of the main character, Mr. Former cop, but I guess he's ok and I want him to succeed over "evil killer thing."

The gore is mostly of the "blood splashed all over cars" variety, but it still works ok. I also like how there's a cop in this movie who's willing to admit that the investigation is going nowhere and is humble enough to ask the disgraced former cop for help. Look, character development! Don't always see that in low-budget horror flicks. I guess my big problem is that this movie came out quietly in the 80s, knew its effects budget wasn't great so kept its killer in shadow, and then all the geniuses who got there hands on the movie after that were like "look how stupid this killer is. LOOK. AT. IT!" Just like trailers nowadays that give away the whole damn movie before you have to see it, the concept of "less is more" is lost on some movie promoters. Don't let that stop you from watching a mostly enjoyable flick, though. Pretend the internet doesn't exist and just come in blind. The movie is better that way.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #97: "Deep Dark (2015)"

After having some success with this strategy, I'm hoping on the "indie horror movie" train, hoping that I'll find another hidden gem like a few of the others I've seen this year for the Challenge. This movie is about a failed artist, a sculptor, who is considering suicide until he comes across a strange hole in the wall that talks to him, promising to make his wildest dreams come true. This is all great until it turns into a nightmare (a talking hole in the wall turning out to be evil...who would have seen that coming?)

This is a weird sounding premise for a movie, but sometimes weird ideas turn out to be good movies ("Slice" totally proved that) so I'm hopeful. It does take forever to get going, which is weird considering how short it is, but it was interesting enough watching Herman (the artist) fail at art.

Once Herman becomes acquainted with the hole in the wall, though, things get really weird, really quick. Like apeshit insane. Dude,  what kind of drugs were they on when they came up with this story? Good lord. It's not bad, though, who knew that a voice coming out of a hole in a wall could be so creepy? She's nuts, though (yeah, the voice seems to be a "she"). And once Herman decides he has to do something about the hole, things get violent (and even more weird). Whatever drugs the filmmakers were on, I'm glad they took them, because this was a cool little movie.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #96: "The Sleeping Room"

Ok, this poster is way creepy,  and much cooler than the one Amazon has advertising this movie. I call foul, because if they'd used THIS poster, the movie would have looked much better, and I probably wouldn't have waited so long to check it out. I'm so glad I finally did, though, because this movie is great.

So this movie is about a call girl named Blue who gets sent on a job to an old house being restored by a guy who seems more interested in hanging out and spending time with her than just having sex with her. She explores the house with him, watching some old movies he found in the house,  and they discover a hidden room that holds even more clues that seem to be connected to Blue's past. Soon it becomes clear that the house holds something sinister, too, and it seems to want Blue to stay...forever.

Why do we hear nonstop about tons of crappy movies, when little hidden gems like this exist and no one talks about them? I've never even heard of this movie before,  but it's one of the best I've watched this year (a lot of people seem to dislike it, but that's the story of my life). I cared about the characters, I loved Blue, and I wanted her to break free of her abusive pimp. I liked the budding love story, I was hooked on watching the mystery unfold, and the movie had me on the edge of my seat, jumping more than once. This is a good old fashioned ghost story, and I loved every minute.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #95: "Deadly Blessing"

This is another movie I've wanted to see for years that I promised myself I'd watch this year for the challenge. It came out the year I was born and I've heard about it off and on over the years. It's a Wes Craven movie, and I love him, so I was fairly certain I'd love this movie too (here's hoping, at least).

So this movie is about a small country town full of religious extremists who have very strong beliefs about how things should be done, how life should be lived, sin, and death. When friends come to visit a recent widow, they discover that she's terrified of the leader of this religious sect, played by Ernest Borgnine. Murders start happening in a town near this strange religious community,  and residents are afraid of being the next to die.

Michael Berryman is in this movie too. He was in Craven's classic "The Hills have Eyes," and he does well playing big, menacing creepy guys. Ernest Borgnine is really creepy as the leader of the paranoid religious sect. It's freaky as hell seeing he and his followers lurking around in the shadows, particularly when they watch someone being buried in a local cemetary. Dude, I'd be moving as far away from those weirdos as I could. Brr.

So I don't really understand why the women don't just leave. After a few murders, living out in the boonies where the police won't get to you in time to help, and with creepy religious neighbors that worship a screwed up, violent version of God...I get standing your ground and not letting the bad guys win and drive you away from your home, but I would be out of there if I could go, and her friends would certainly give her a place to stay if she asked, so it's not like money is an object. I just don't get why she didn't leave, especially after the snake incident.

Religious cults like this really piss me off. I worship God too, but the super violent God that tells them to abuse people in front of the congregation during a church service? I'll take a hard pass on that crap, thanks. This movie taps into a lot of fears, especially the fear of divine retribution from a murderous god who likes to torture people, and a religious cult that thinks they have to do the bidding of that God. Add in the murders ratcheting up the tension, and the isolated, rural setting where no one can hear you scream, and this movie is extra horrifying. I definitely liked it.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #94: "The Dark (1979)"

I'm not sure if I've heard of this movie or not. I'm sure I heard of it at some time, but I don't remember it. The description and the way the movie is presented remind me of episodes of the show "The Twilight Zone," which I used to love when I was a kid, so I was hopeful that I would love this movie too.

So in this movie,  someone is on a killing spree in California,  killing and mutilating people at night. A writer and a TV reporter suspect that there's more to the story than meets the eye, that something not quite human is committing the murders. Soon their suspicions are confirmed, and they have to figure out how to stop the killings before it's too late.

The dark is always scarier. Things can be hiding in the shadows, evil and terrifying things. That's why so many people are afraid if the dark. This movie tries to play on those fears, and there are times when it really succeeds, when strange noises and an inability to see make the scenes extra spooky. There are other times, though, when the movie is heavy handed and annoying, when the darkness is whispering "blah blah blah...the dark..." and I want to punch whoever thought that would be scary instead of irritating. Dude. We get that it's dark, knock it off.

This movie feels like two movies. Like a bad movie swallowed a good movie whole, and the good movie keeps trying to escape from the bad movie, and we can hear it screaming for help, but it's trapped inside the bad movie and can't get out. If you cut the annoying whispers in the dark, and the omniscient narrator at the beginning and the end who pops up to infodump all over us, there would be a passably good movie in there somewhere,  but the heavy handed over-explainey bullshit gets in the way of anything good in the movie, which is annoying, because there could be a good movie here if it cut the crap. Boo. Hiss.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #93: "Society (1989)"

I've been meaning to see this movie for years. It's supposed to be depraved and disgusting, it's actually legendary for it's disgusting scenes. I'm sitting here eating dinner thinking that it might not be a good idea to eat while I'm watching this movie. That's how vile I expect it to be. Plus I'm wondering if it really breaks all these taboos or if it's one of those movies that doesn't live up to its hype. I guess I'll find out.

So this movie is about a teenage boy whose parents come from the upper crust of society, and they hobnob with all the other rich people, and follow the unspoken rules of high society, only associate with the "right" people, things like that. Soon, the boy becomes convinced that his parents are part of a depraved cult of other rich people who do disgusting things together. The boy is paranoid, so it's hard to see how much of this stuff is true and what's only in his head (but given what I've heard about this movie, I'm thinking he might be right).

I hate rich people.  Ok, that's not really fair. I suppose I don't hate all rich people, but the entitled asshole rich people like the ones in this movie, who have everything handed to them all their lives and stomp all over the little people,  poor people like me...yeah, I don't like them. And it's not jealousy, either, I don't want to be like them. I'd love to have a ton of money, but I wouldn't be like them, treating people the way they do, like everyone "below" them is expendable, meant to be used and abused and tossed away like trash. Yeah, that makes me sick, and it's more disgusting than anything they could show in a horror movie,  because it's real, and it happens to real people every day.

Ok, so rant over, but my point is that I've been hearing about this movie most of my life (I was 8 when it came out) and how it's sick and disgusting and vile, and people ran out of the theater vomiting, and how it breaks every taboo, so by the time I finally got to actually SEE the movie, I was ready for anything it tried to throw at me. Everything is all slimy and bloody and gooey and body parts are flopping around, and I'm just sitting there like "yep, that's what I thought."

Not to say that the movie is bad, really. It's gross and disgusting, but I expected that, and it's so over the top I want to roll my eyes into the next century, but the gore is mostly well-done. I hated the main character (played by Billy Warlock, and if that isn't a perfect name for a horror actor, I don't know what is) because he's a whiny drama Queen who is convinced everything in his life is some big conspiracy, but of course he's right, and by the movie's ending, I gained a grudging respect for him. I'm glad I didn't eat anything during the last half hour or so, but like I said, I expected ad much, so there was only one part that was REALLY gross to me. I don't know if it would have made me puke, but I'm happy not to find out. Overall, the movie was actually not bad, I just wish I hadn't known so much going in. My only complaint is that now I have the movie's theme song stuck in my head and it's pissing me off.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #92: "Future Force"

David Carradine was a badass. Even in the stupidest movies he was in (and let's face it, this one is pretty stupid) he managed to be tough and menacing. It's weird because he even looked like a middle aged guy with a dad bod, yet somehow he exuded this energy. I don't know, it's probably because I grew up watching these kinds of movies and I thought he was the coolest, but I still love watching his movies.

In this movie, technology has allowed the justice system to try and convict people guilty of crimes with little due process, and their cases are all stored in a computer system accessible by cops and vigilantes alike. The movie focuses on an organization of bounty hunters known as C.O.P.S. David Carradine belongs to this group, and he hunts down criminals and brings them in, dead or alive. Unfortunately, the system is corrupt, and they take care of their enemies by either killing them directly, or by altering their histories to say they are guilty of crimes, so they can be imprisoned or murdered.

The C.O.P.S. use a lot of cool technology, like a glove that allows its wearer to lift cars with one hand or shoot deadly lasers and blow them up. Cool stuff. The bad guys are like the bad guys in the Robocop movies, over the top and comically evil, cackling maniacally while they destroy their enemies. This movie isn't very deep, but it's cool watching people get blown up by David Carradine,  so I dug it.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #91: "Silent Rage (1982)"

Hey, did you guys know Chuck Norris was in a slasher movie? I just found out, and of course I had to watch it right away. I think I saw this movie back when I was a kid, when I was obsessed with action movies, but that was back before I knew what a slasher movie was, so 8 wouldn't have made the connection.

When this movie opens, we get to see a preternaturally strong guy chop up a bunch of people with an axe, then Chuck Norris takes him down, then the doctors decide to try their super secret formula that makes people unkillable on this guy (because the best candidate for being unstoppable is a crazed axe murderer) and he predictably goes on a killing spree. Who'd have thought?

Killers in slasher movies are traditionally hard to kill. At least this movie gives us a reason for the guy being like, super strong and refusing to die. If this guy was still alive after being shot like 8 times back at the beginning of the movie before the doctors injected him with the potion, it was definitely a bad idea to try this experiment on him. Good thing we had Chuck Norris around to fight him. This movie is ridiculous of course, but it's still fun seeing Chuck Norris take on a psycho killer. Funtimes.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #90: "Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed"

I've always loved Scooby Doo, and I saw the first movie in theaters when i was in college, but I never got around to watching the second one. I decided to remedy that today, since if I'm checking out some kid-friendoy Halloween flicks, Scooby Doo is one of the best. I really hoped this movie lived up to the funtimes of the cartoon series.

So in this movie, the Scooby Gang are riding high over their success in the first movie, and they attend a premiere where they're treated as stars, until some ghosts and monsters crash the party and wind up catching them by surprise and humiliating them. After being disgraced, the gang has to investigate and figure out what happened, Hijinks ensue.

I liked the first movie, but I remember that it had a lot of jokes and innuendo aimed at adults who would be watching with their kids. There's nothing wrong with that, but to me, it kinda felt more like a parody making fun of the show than the fun I remember having watching the show itself. Bummer, dude.

This movie felt more like an adaptation of the show to me. The characters acted more like the detectives I remembered from the show. I loved Daphne using her makeup to figure out how to help the gang, Velma explaining what the clues meant, and Shaggy and Scooby trying to figure out clues on their own so they can prove that they belong in the gang. I also love Seth Green, so it was fun seeing him play another loveable nerd in this movie. Overall,  I was hoping this movie would hold up to the first movie, but I actually ended up liking it better. Yay!

October Horror Challenge 2018 #89: "Bunks (2013)"

I'm all about the kid friendly horror right now. Hey, I have to have a few movies under my hat for in case I wind up watching horror movies with kids. This movie has a good pedigree, having aired on Disney, so I gave it a chance. It's about two troublemaking teenage brothers who are sent to military camp to straighten them out. They manipulate two other teenagers, counselors from camp Bushwhack, into taking their place, an d.c. they head to camp Bushwhack as counselors. They wind up being in charge of a cabin full of troublemakers, and they spend their first night telling ghost stories which end up coming true. Whoops.

I never got to go to camp when I was a kid. I always wanted to, but it never happened, so I really enjoy movies that take place at camp, so I can live vicariously through the characters. Funtimes. I can definitely relate to the characters in this movie, because if I were in charge of some campers, the first thing I'd do is tell a bunch of ghost stories, and if they started coming true, I'd be ready to fight off a bunch of zombies and ghosts. I've watched enough horror movies to have a good idea of what to do. This is another movie that's silly, but I had fun with it anyway.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #88: "Ghost Patrol"

Another of my kids haloween movies, this one explores what would have happened if the Ghostbusters had started when they were kids. Gabi and her brother Spence and their dog investigate reports of ghostly activity in their area, but they've never seen a real ghost. Then one day they find a local old Manor that seems to be haunted, and this time it appears that the ghosts are actually real!

I would have been all over this movie when I was a kid. I was sure that ghosts were real, and my friends and I investigated what we thought was strange phenomena that happened in our town. We would have been ecstatic to find a real haunted house.

My friend's daughter Arionna would be so excited to stay in a haunted house too. She would probably love this movie too. It's a lot of fun. I like Gabi and Spence, and I want them to succeed in their ghost hunting, if only because their older teenage brother and sister are jerks who make fun of them all the time. I also like how you hair parents are supportive of their investigating. It's nice to see parents who have their kids' backs. This movie is a lot of fun, and I'm glad I watched it.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #87: "Night of the Comet"

I always get this movie mixed up with "Night of the Creeps," so I kept thinking I've seen this before until I read the description and was like "um...nope...don't think I've seen this," which is the opposite of the other phenomena I experience where I watch a whole movie before I realize I've seen it before. Getting old and forgetful is so much fun. Luckily it ends with me getting to watch a quirky 80s zombie movie I've never seen before. Win win.

So in this movie, a comet crashes into earth, killing most people and turning the rest into zombies. There are a few survivors, people who were in steel-lined shelters when the comet hit are ok, but they have to contend with most of the population of earth being turned to dust, and some zombie creatures who want to kill them. There's a group of scientists looking for survivors, but it's unclear exactly what they're studying or what they plan to do.

At first the main characters in this movie annoyed me, then I grew to like the teenage sisters and the loner truck driver they meet along the way. Then we meet some truly annoying guys at a local mall, and I wanted to stab myself in the face. The scientists seem pissed at each other all the time, and one female scientist who's always in a pissy mood, and I didn't like her much until I discovered why she's always do angry, then it made more sense.

It would be just my luck that the world would end and the only people in authority left alive were a bunch of dickheads. Talk about bad luck. I did enjoy the main characters, and the super cheesy 80s music is a lot of fun too. Overall this is a fun watch and I'm glad I finally checked it out.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #86: "47 Meters Down"

I've loved shark movies all my life. I saw Jaws and Jaws 2 on TV when I was a kid, and ever since then, I've tried to watch every shark movie I can get my hands on. I saw the original "Open Water" in theaters and scared the crap out of myself. I like the Sharknado movies (shut up) and I even had fun with terrible movies like "Avalance Sharks." I've been wanting to see this movie since it came out, since I love Mandy Moore almost as much as I love shark movies, so I was excited to finally get to check this out.

So in this movie, 2 sisters take a break from their troubles and spend some time partying in Mexico. They decide to do something daring and go for a cage dive in shark infested waters. Unfortunately, things go wrong and soon they're trapped in a cage at the bottom of the ocean surrounded by sharks. Yikes. They have to figure out how to survive without getting eaten or running out of air.

You couldn't PAY me to go on a cage dive, especially a non-professional one like the one in this movie where the guide doesn't even make sure the ladies have diving permits. Lock me in a metal cage and lower me into shark-infested waters? Hahahahahahaha no. A world of no. But I can see why the characters do it in this movie. The character Development is so good that I get why one sister wants to break out of her shell and do something daring, and why the other sister convinces her to try it even though she has doubts and tries to turn back.

Mandy Moore is a good actress, and it's cool seeing her in a role usually filled by a no-name actress in a low-budget movie like this. Also, the threat of drowning is terrifying enough that the movie doesn't take much effort to be scary since the premise already freaks me out. Because of the character development and good acting, the movie is even better than it might be otherwise, so I really enjoyed watching this one. Also I'm never going cage diving ever ever ever.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #85: "All Hallows Eve"

This is a Halloween romp aimed at teens. Some of these are pretty terrible, but this one is a lot of fun. It's about a girl who finds out on her 18th birthday that her recently deceased mother was a witch, and now that she's 18, she has witchy powers too. It's all fun and games until she finds out that not all her witchy ancestors were nice, and she has a great aunt witch who wants to use her evil powers to take over the world.

Soon the girl, Eve, must use her newfound powers to stop her aunt's evil plot. The movie is a lot of fun. It's in the vein of "Sabrina the Teenage Witch," another show that I really loved. This movie was a lot of fun, and I definitely recommend it.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #84: "Coraline"

I've been wanting to see this movie since before it was even in theaters. I saw the movie trailer, and it was so creepy and really immersed you in the story. This movie got put on the back burner, but I always thought about watching it for the challenge, since it seemed so delightfully creepy. You can tell from this poster even how scary this movie is.

This movie is about a preteen girl whose family moves to a creepy old house in the boonies. She finds a small door in one of the rooms of her house that is sealed off, but one night it transforms into a tunnel, and when she crawls through the tunnel, she winds up in an alternate reality that is much like her regular life, only opposite. Her parents are usually uninvolved and neglectful, but in the opposite world they seem warm and loving, so much so that she's tempted to stay, until it becomes clear that there is something sinister under the surface of the seemingly idyllic world.

I really don't like Coraline's real parents. They're always preoccupied and snappy and cranky and rude, which gets old real quick. Your kid might not want to escape to an alternate world if you weren't such jerks. The opposite world really creeps me out, too. I can totally sense the evil lurking under the surface of the supposedly happy family. I guess I just don't trust overly "nice" people. I always suspect that there's something they're hiding, and I'm usually right. Overall, the movie is really creepy and cool, and I'm glad I finally got to watch it.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #83: "Under the Shadow"

This is a small, quiet little horror movie that flew under the radar, and I haven't heard anything about it, but the plot sounded compelling, so I decided to check it out. It always makes me sad when a really good movie doesn't get the recognition it deserves. There are a lot of crappy movies that I hear about nonstop, and I wish movies like this would get more fanfare.

This movie takes place in war-torn post-revolutionary Tehran in the 1980s. A young medical student is barred from continuing her medical studies because of her involvement with leftist student groups during the war. She lives with her daughter in an area still torn apart by violence. Her husband is called to serve in the military, and she decides to stay with her daughter in their home instead of moving to stay with his parents in a safer area. Soon their problems become even worse, when strange, terrifying events start happening, and she becomes convinced that she and her daughter are being tormented by evil spirits.

This movie is a Persian-language horror film written and directed by Iranian-born Babak Anvari as his directorial debut. It feels more authentic because of all of the horrors going on around the characters before anything supernatural even happens. An early scene features a stray missile crashing into their apartment building and everyone has to evacuate in case it explodes. That's a tense and scary situation to live in all by itself, which makes the movie feel catastrophic right from the beginning.

As usual in movies like this, the little girl seems to realize that evil spirits are attacking before any of the adults see it. The daughter keeps saying that the djinn are attacking, while her mother insists they aren't real, even after she's seen a lot of scary, unexplainable things herself. Once she realizes that something evil is going on,  she tries her best to protect her daughter, even sacrificing her own safety. It's very compelling. This is such a good movie that I wish more people had heard of it.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #82: "Beyond the Gates"

This is the perfect movie for me. Today's kids will never know how awesome the old video store were, or the excitement of walking the aisles, looking at the pictures on the video boxes, seeing all the awesome movies that await. Even smelling that smell, the mix of plastic and dust and old cardboard, something that brings back memories of the past, I'll miss those days, and it feels like this movie is directing it's advertising at me and people like me...come watch this movie that takes place in an old video store! Remember the fun times of the past!

This movie is about a man who mysteriously disappears, leaving his two adult sons to take care of his estate, which includes boxing all the stuff up from their dad's old video store. Soon, among his possessions, they find an old game that includes a video tape with instructions on how to play said game. Unfortunately for them, the game is all too real, and horrifying.

I guess I'm taking a break to watch movies about evil games today. I loved playing hoard games when I was a kid, so I enjoyed seeing all the old board games in the dad's video store. I had a lot of fun playing Scrabble and Upwards when I was a kid, and I would totally have been down to play the old VHS game featured in this movie. It's  a good thing those puzzle boxes from the hellraiser movies aren't real either (we hope!) because I totally would have played with one of those too.

The thing about this movie is that some of the scenes are cool and gory, some are cheesy and cheap looking, and you never know which you're going to get until the whole scene plays out. Plus, once they start playing the game, it's weird and choppy, like they'll play a turn and something creepy will happen, then they'll be like "oh well, time to go to bed now" and wait 12 hours or so before they play another turn, even after it becomes clear that something evil and horrible is going on. It's silly, and it takes me out of the movie. I did enjoy this movie, though, and once they figure out what they have to do to beat the game, things get going and keep the momentum. The special effects are a little questionable, but I like the cast, and their performances are good, so I enjoyed this movie, in spite of its flaws.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #81: "Truth or Dare (2018)"

I've seen a few movies similar to this one, so I thought I'd seen this movie before, but I watched the trailer and realized that I've never seen this particular version of the story, so I decided to give it a whirl. I usually like movies like this even if they're kinda terrible, so I hoped I would enjoy it.

So back in 1986, a group of college students (or teenagers played by 30 year olds, it's hard to tell) played a game of Truth or Dare with deadly consequences. All but one of them is dead, and the survivor is horribly scarred from the sick, twisted "dares" in that game. Now another group of friends is on the same house for Halloween, ready to maybe see some ghosts, when they start playing another game of "truth or dare" that has similar deadly consequences for them.

The parts where the house traps them and forces them to complete the "dares" are really cool, and there's some gruesome stuff involved. I feel like they're not the most likeable people, though. They're all lying and keeping secrets from each other, and they keep not doing what the game demands they do, even after they see that not doing what the game wants results in pain and death. Plus there's that part of the movie where everything calms down for a moment and they're all like "oh well, I guess it's over now" when OBVIOUSLY it's not over and they're all in danger. So yeah, it's s little predictable and silly, but it's still kinda fun, of you like this sort of thing (and I do...sue me).

Edit: so apparently Netflix is a lying liar face, and the poster they included with this movie is for a different horror movie, a version of "Truth or Dare" that actually appeared in theaters and started Lucy Hale (who I love). I'm sure I'd love that movie too, but the one I saw was a made for TV version of the story, so I hunted around until I found a poster that was for the actual movie I watched:

Still cool, still a fun watch for me, and I actually really liked the ending.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #80: "Fury of the Wolfman"

I didn't pay much attention to this movie, and I somehow thought it was one of the classic Universal wolfman movies,  until it started playing and I realized my mistake. I knew one of the actors, though, Paul Naschy, from other movies I'd seen with him, so I held out hope that some hope that it would be good.

This movie is about a man who went on an expedition in the wilderness where he was the only survivor and everyone else died.  He secretly suffers from lycanthropy, and he sees a doctor,  a professor at a local college, who claims she can cure him. Soon a bunch of horrible events befall him and anyone else connected with the professor. She seems to exert a lot of control and gets people to follow her and agree with her wishes. A local reporter starts investigating the strange events, and seems to be the only one who can get to the truth.

This movie is kind of ridiculous. A lot of the acting is bad, and the characters do some asinine things over and over again, which really takes me out of the movie. Think someone's death is mysterious? Let's rob his grave! That's the logical next step, right? And how does an evil doctor get away with doing experiments on humans for so long without anyone noticing? And when they finally catch him, you'd think the people in the town would be vigilant enough to notice if it was happening again with new victims.

I did like Paul Naschy's character. Yeah, he was a dumbass,  but I still kinda liked him and felt bad for him. Once the movie passes the halfway mark, I liked the two main characters who were suffering under the professor's control, and I wanted them to figure out a way to beat her. It's ridiculous,  like I said, and I made a lot of snarky comments, but I've definitely seen worse movies.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #79: "Van Helsing"

You know, people have told me over and over how terrible this movie is, so it's not like I can claim ignorance or anything. I knew this movie was going to suck from the beginning, but I got lazy and didn't want to scroll through a bunch of movies to find a good one, so I figured, why not? It's not like it could be worse than "Island of Death. "

Uh, so this movie is about a famous monster hunter, Van Helsing (played by Hugh Jackman), who travels to a town overrun by vampires, led by the evil and cranky Count Dracula. The movie also stars Kate Beckinsale and her amazing hair. Seriously, her hair is the best thing about this movie. Anyway, she lives in the town and vows to fight the vampires (but she must do a crappy job if they all still live there after all these years). So then Van Helsing kills a female vampire who winds up being Dracula's bride, so Dracula is extra pissed and vows to defeat Van Helsing, and are you still reading this description? I'm sorry.

So this movie isn't TERRIBLE (nothing seems terrible after "Island of Death") but it's silly and campy. I don't think it's SUPPOSED to be funny, but it's so over-the-top and melodramatic that I kept laughing at it. I mean, I'm always up for a good monster fight, but this one is just ridiculous,  and it's in desperate need of an editor. At least a half hour could have been cut from this movie and it wouldn't lose anything necessary. It would be better,  in fact, because it wouldn't drag as much.

So yeah, not the worst movie I've ever seen,  not even the worst movie I've seen today, but it's too silly and boring, and I was already cranky from the other movie I'd just watched, so I probably judged this movie more harshly than I should have. If you're a fan of action horror flicks, this one might be worth a watch. Just don't expect it to be great, and don't watch "Island of Death" before you watch this, because that movie will lodge in your brain and piss you off for DAYS.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #78: "Gnome Alone"

I needed something good to wash that last piece of crap out of my head,  so I picked another kids' Halloween movie. This one is about a teenage girl who moves with her mom into a new house and soon discovers that the house is a portal that brings monsters into the world, and she has to team up with some living lawn gnomes in order to fight them.

Lawn gnomes are creepy little things, even when they don't come to life and talk, so these ones are creepy, but they're also sarcastic and hilarious. The next door neighbor boy who befriends the teenage girl and helps her fight the monsters is a lot of fun, too. He's a big nerd, but he's really smart, and he's a much better friend than the mean girls at school who the new girl tries to befriend. Bullies suck. Overall, this movie is a lot of fun. Creepy monsters that devour everything in their path, and witty, sarcastic heroes who try to stop the monsters. Sign me up.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #77: "Island of Death (1978)"

I've been meaning to watch this for years. It's supposed to be a gooey exploitation classic, really depraved and disturbing, you get the drift. I almost bought it once because I was on a spree buying all the disturbing horror movies I could, but I bought something else instead. I was glad to see it on Amazon this year so I could finally watch it for the challenge.

The description says that this movie is about two psychotic killers who go on a killing spree on a small Greek island. I guess I'm dumb, but when the movie starts out and I see our two main characters,  I assumed they were two of the victims, since they were enjoying what looked like a nice vacation. That will teach me to assume things. It soon becomes clear that these two are disturbing and depraved, and then we get to watch them have lots of gross sex and kill people for like, two hours.

Not that I think this movie gives a crap about anything, least of all accurate descriptions, but these characters aren't really psychopaths, they're more accurately described as sociopaths, and they don't have emotions or feel empathy for other people. They definitely don't have empathy for the viewers who are stuck watching this boring movie. Yes, you heard me right, it's boring. The thing about depravity is that if you throw scene after scene after scene of depraved, disgusting crap at us, it stops having an effect on us (except to make us wish we hadn't watched this movie).

The only time the movie isn't being boring is when the horrendous soundtrack is playing, and that's only because the music is so terrible that it will make your ears bleed. I've seriously never heard music this terrible in a movie before, and there are only like 4 songs and they play over and over until I wanted to RIP my ears off. I didn't care for the acting, either. I suppose it's fine, but every single one of the characters is so stupid and unlikable that I was beyond sick of watching them have sex, rape each other, and kill or get killed. If this is such a small island, why does it take them so long to realize people are murdering the citizens? They kill like three people a day. No, never mind, it's silly of me to want anything in this movie to make sense. It's not disturbing or shocking, it's just annoying and boring. I'm so glad I never paid money for it! I agree with the tagline for this movie,  the lucky ones got their brains blown out, so they didn't have to watch this movie.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #76: "Monster Family"

The last movie I watched was really depressing,  so I needed a break and something that wouldn't make me want to throw myself in front of a bus, so I settled on this one.  It's another kid friendly Halloween movie, so I was hoping it would be fun.

This movie is about a family who encounter a cranky old witch who uses her magic amulet to turn them into the real monsters depicted by their Halloween costumes. They have to track her down and get her to change them back or they'll have to spend the rest of their lives as monsters.

Honestly,  I didn't like these characters much when the movie starts. The kids do nothing but fight (like, seriously,  the sister kicks her little brother down the stairs) and the dad doesn't care, and the mom tries to keep the family together, but they do nothing but mock her and complain. Once the spell takes place and they start to actually give a crap, it gets better.

I don't love how the mom basically says she has to stay married even if she's unhappy because when you're a mom, that's just what you do. Let's try and make it better instead of wallowing in the bad, how about that? Like I said, it does get better though, and once the family band together, I liked them better and the movie became more fun. This movie ends up being really cute, and I did enjoy it after the first few hiccups at the beginning.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #75: "Sendero"

I chose this movie poster, even though it kinda gives away one of the best shots in the movie, because it's so gory and cool looking. The best thing about this movie is its gore, so I might as well showcase that right away. I've wanted to watch this movie for so long that I was really happy to get a chance to check it out. Ah, several hours ago, it was a simpler time. I'm nostalgic for a time before I'd watched this movie.

Ok, so the movie follows a group of friends (well, kinda, they don't seem to all like each other) who go on a road trip to get out of the city, and when they stop to help someone who appears to be in trouble, they are abducted by some messed up people, and they get tortured,  and they have to escape with their lives.

Now, I say that, because the obvious course of action when you're abducted is to try and escape, but it doesn't seem like they really want to escape, because they have multiple chances to disarm their captors and escape, but instead they stand around and argue, or cry. I get that the situation is upsetting, but you really should try to get away. And even after they escape, which happens multiple times,  they split up, and one of them doesn't follow but instead stays in the house, so it's confusing and annoying and hard to care about people who act like such idiots.

The gore isn't splattered over every frame, but it's well done, and when it shows up it adds to the scenes. That's one thing the movie did right. That might be the only thing. The plot isn't really even clear. At one point an old man shows up seemingly only to deliver a reason for the abductions, but it really doesn't make much sense. Plus, if they've supposedly been doing this for years, why are they so bad at it? And if the big goal here is to keep the abductions secret, why do they run around with guns so much killing anyone who tries to help? I counted seven separate times they randomly killed possible good samaritans who try to help our stupid protagonists escape. Way to keep things on the down low, folks.

The thing is, this movie is bleak and depressing, and it seems that the message of the movie (if I'm going to pretend it has a message) is that life sucks and there's no hope, and people are animals that are often led to the slaughter. The thing is, you can throw all the depravity at me that you want (here, I'm going to rape this person. No, stop doing that, I'm going to rape you now as punishment, let's all rape each other, woo-hoo, rape party) and sever all the body parts and kill a bunch of people who were only trying to help without showing us their faces, because people don't really matter, or some shit. I can name several movies that do these things but we still care about their characters because there's an actual plot and character development, and people try to help each other and rise above the terrible things that happen to them. No one is going to think you're cool for making a movie like this if you do a shitty job. There are better movies out there that have a lot of gore and depravity, and you're actually going to CARE when it happens because those movies give a shit. Watch one of those instead.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #74: "The Turn of the Screw (2009)"

This is a BBC production of another adaptation of Henry James's classic ghost story "The Turn of the Screw." I really liked "The Innocents," the 50s movie that is probably the best known movie version of this story, so I was excited to see how this version stacked up against that one.

A governess is hired by a young man to take care of his young niece and nephew at their sprawling estate. Soon after she arrives, ghostly things start happening, and she learns that the mysterious happenings have scared away other women in the past, which is why the governess position was open in the first place. Soon she learns there are even more secrets in the house and more reasons to be terrified.

This version has the former governess committed to an asylum, and a therapist interviewing her, trying to find out what happened at the house. This lets us off the hook a little, knowing what happened at the house, or at least knowing that very bad things happened, right from the start. It's kind of sad to watch, seeing how happy the children were with her at first, then seeing how things quickly went bad from there.

This movie leans more toward the "that woman was nuts, she imagined everything" side of the story. The book is much more ambiguous, letting the reader decide if the ghosts and the evil was real, or if it was all in the woman's mind.  I think part of why this story is so popular to adapt is because the original book let the reader decide what to believe.

The movie "The Innocents" is also much more ambiguous than this version, so whether we believe evil spirits were responsible for the events in that house, we can still see why someone could believe in evil spirits and that those spirits were corrupting the children in the house. This movie seems to be more interested in saying "sexual repression is bad, it drives you crazy," and I don't really disagree with that, but this is an extreme way of dealing with the issue. It's not bad, but I think I like other versions better.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #73: "Lifeforce"

This is another horror classic that I've somehow managed to avoid seeing over the years. I've wanted to see it since I was a kid, when visions of space vampires danced in my head, so I was excited to finally get to check it out. Like any popular horror movie that the majority of people seem to like, this one has its detractors as well. I've heard that the ending is really stupid, but I was hoping that I'd be one of the people who enjoyed this movie. I could use a good movie after the crappy one I just watched.

This is one of those movies that has a plot, but that's what seems to be happening on the surface, while secretly, what's actually going on is something else entirely. Lying liar faces. So it starts with a spaceship orbiting the earth, which soon discovers another spacecraft that contains humanoid creatures sealed in crystal cases. The astronauts bring these cases on board their own ship (because they're idiots who have never seen a movie in their lives). Meanwhile, on earth (in london) the humanoid alien woman we recognize from the spaceship is running around sucking the life out of people and turning them into zombie like creatures. The government investigates, discovers what happened with the alien ship, and questions the only survivor of the crew, hoping to figure out how to stop the alien woman before it's too late.

Some people claim this isn't a horror movie, but I beg to differ. There's some really cool gore, including a scene where blood shoots out of the mouth of one of the victims that's disgustingly awesome. Once the streets are full of people who've had the lives sucked out of them running around, the movie is much like other people zombie movies, with the added stress of the government and scientists trying to find the alien responsible for all this and kill her.

Let's talk about the government guys and the scientists and the surviving astronaut guy. This is going to make me sound really mean, but these are some of the dumbest characters I've ever seen in a movie. They keep doing the dumbest thing possible in every situation, they run around yelling and screaming and acting crazy but expecting everyone to do what they say, and they blame everyone else when their own stupidity is what caused these events in the first place. I sincerely hope that if evil space creatures ever do attack earth,  that the people fighting them will be smarter than these morons.

Patrick Stewart has a small role as a doctor,  and he's great, as always. He might be my favorite thing about this movie. It's not that the movie is bad, it's just that the main characters are such idiots and such slimy, unlikable people that I couldn't really root for them. I can see why people didn't like the ending,  too. It's not THAT bad, but it feels like an afterthought, and after watching two hours of this, I expected (and deserved) a better wrap-up than that. Overall, the movie isn't bad, but i wish i could have had one good character to like in the mix.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #72: "The Howling III: The Marsupials"

This movie poster is awesome.  Seriously. People have told me that this movie was terrible for years, but I would see this poster and think maybe they were wrong, maybe there was some great stuff in the movie that other people didn't see, and I would watch it and be happy that I did. It should be against the law for a movie this horrible to have posters that make it look good. What happened to truth in advertising?

This movie is about a lost tribe of werewolves in Australia that are marsupials, meaning that the babies emerge still in the embryonic stage and then grow to full term inside a pouch on the mother's stomach. Anyway, a beautiful teenage girl escapes from this tribe because she's tired of following their rules, like how she has to let her stepfather rape her, and she's discovered by a movie producer and cast in a low budget horror movie,  and the movie producer falls in love with her and has sex with her, not realizing that she's a werewolf even after seeing her covered with fur and having a pouch. He's clearly a genius. Soon she starts to transform, and scientists and the government fight about whether to study her tribe or kill them all.

I realize that it sounds like I'm making this all up, playing some kind of a joke on you all, but I assure you, this is what actually happens in the movie, and there's a bunch of other crap that's even dumber than this that I didn't even tell you about. This movie has like, five subplots,  dealing with a Russian ballerina who is also a werewolf,  and a scientist who's father disappeared while studying the werewolves in Australia, and a little werewolf baby, and the aforementioned rapey stepfather,  and seriously, it's a huge, jumbled mess.

Jerboa, the teenage werewolf girl, isn't a bad actress, though her talent is kinda wasted here trying to be sultry and seductive when she just looks strung-out and high most of the time. There's not much gore, but there's an awful lot of nudity for a movie rated PG13. A lot of the acting is ridiculous.  The rapey stepfather is just terrible, and his character is such an ass that I couldn't root for him. The Russian ballerina werewolf acts insane, like she's about to snap and go on a killing spree any moment (plus she keeps making these weird guttural hissing noises that make her sound like the ghost woman from the movie "The Grudge").

I get the sense that this movie is supposed to be a parody, but it really pisses me off when people half-ass a movie and then hide behind the idea that they were trying to make some kind of point. Yes, the low-budget horror flick that the teenage werewolf gets cast in has bad special effects, and surprise! This movie has bad special effects too. That doesn't make s statement like you think it does. I've seen plenty of low budget horror movies that are actually good, and the filmmakers give a shit and try to make the best movies they can. You're not proving anything except that you're lazy. And I don't think having a stepfather who rapes you is a fun, quirky subplot,  asshole.

People's argument for the "parody" aspect of this movie seems to be "it's tongue-in-cheek, the filmmakers don't take it seriously!" Well good for them, I'd rather watch a movie made by people who DO take their subject seriously,  at least enough to put EFFORT  into making their movie. As much as the first Howling annoyed me, I recognize that the filmmakers worked hard on the satirical elements in it, and even as much as the second Howling sucked, they at least made their main characters likeable enough that I cared what happened to them. I can deal with bad movies. Lazy movies that pretend they're funny because they're too cool to care? Not so much. Hard pass. Go be cool somewhere else, some of us have work to do.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #71: "Motel Hell"

Isn't this movie poster cool? Somehow I've managed not to see this movie yet, even with all my horror movie watching. It's one of those classic horror movies that everyone has seen, and I kept meaning to watch it,  but I got distracted by shiny objects every time, so I didn't see it until this year. Is it as great as so many people think it is?

This movie is about a motel in a small, nowhere town, owned by a man and his sister. The man is marginally famous around those parts for selling a line of his own smoked meats that everyone praised for tasting better than any they've ever had before. Right away, we see he's not as good natured as people think he is, because he sets up traps to trip up passing motorists, killing one guy and wounding the girl with him, who he takes back to the motel and nurses back to health. Soon the woman realizes that the man and his sister are hiding dark secrets at the motel which could be deadly.

I say "soon" she realizes all this, but it honestly takes her FOREVER to realize something bad is going on, even as the old man and his sister act weirder and weirder. She even starts to fall in love with the old guy (sweetie, he's NOT good husband material). The old man's younger sister is absolutely apeshit insane, and I think she's my favorite character in this movie. She's a lot of fun.

The gore is pretty good, and once it's revealed what's actually going on at the motel, it's INSANE. You have to see it to believe it. And it makes for a cool ending when the "critters" that make up "Farmer Vincent's fritters" (the smoked meats the old man sells) escape and start to wreak havoc. I honestly can't believe it's been this long and nothing has escaped ever before, because the setup is ridiculous and you think someone would notice what's going on after all these years, even in a small town. Don't worry about the silly aspects of the plot, though, because if you just sit back and watch, this movie is crazy, gory fun.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #70: "The Evil (1978)"

I was in the mood for a good, spooky horror movie that didn't even TRY to be funny. My sense of humor is broken this morning.  Anyway, I've been seeing the cover of this movie in video stores for years, but I'd forgotten all about it until I saw it on Amazon this week. I knew I had to finally check it out.

This is a mystery/horror flick about a doctor and his wife who buy an old, supposedly haunted house and plan to turn it into a drug rehabilitation center. Right at the beginning we see that the house doesn't like people hanging around. People in the area wanted to tear the house down, but it's considered a historical landmark, and of course the doctor and his wife (who is also a doctor) don't consider the ghost rumors to be true.

Soon after they move in and start renovating the place though, spooky things start to happen. The wife catches on before the husband does. I guess "logically brained" people who trust science and not what they think of as superstition, have a harder time with supernatural phenomena. Pretty soon though, everyone is screwed and the house traps and starts to torment all of them.

As much as I understand not believing in ghosts, people like the husband really get on my nerves. Ok, ghosts aren't real, fine, ok. But when things start happening, whether ghosts are real or not doesn't matter to me, we need to work together and survive, and slapping and shaking and screaming at people and lecturing everyone? That's going to get your ass kicked, and I don't care if you're my husband. It shouldn't take us almost all dying for you to trust that I'm your wife, I'm not crazy, and if I'm concerned, I'm not just imagining it.

Aside from wanting to punch the husband in the face and throw him off a bridge, I liked most of the other characters. It pissed me off how they kept splitting up, though. Everytime someone is alone they get attacked by a ghost, fuck you if you think I'm going to stay in this bedroom alone. And why does it always take everyone else in the house so long to notice something is wrong when people are screaming and knocking into walls just down the hallway from them? Way to be vigilant,  idiots. I still liked them, though. And the house is really creepy, and the storm makes it even creepier. I wound up liking this movie, in spite of the frustrations and flaws. It was a good little ghost story.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #69: "Terrorvision (1986)"

How have I never heard of this movie before?! What rock have I been living under? It's a cold sci-fi/horror comedy from 1986 about an alien creature that climbs through people's TVs and eats them. Dude. I would have thought this was the coolest movie ever made when I was a kid. Too bad I couldn't have seen it back then. Nowadays I'm much older, crankier, and not as susceptible to thinking every movie is cool just because it's horror related in some way. This movie is more juvenile and annoying than funny. I missed my chance. If I were 10, this would be the best movie ever. Maybe if I ever have kids I'll let them watch it when they're 10.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #68: "House of Bones"

Amazon keeps recommending this movie to 6, so I finally caved in today. I like Charisma Carpenter already, so I figure she'll be good at her role even of the movie sucks. Let's hope it doesn't suck, though.

This movie is about one of those reality shows where the film crew visits a supposedly haunted location and tries to document the ghostly activity.  Like I've mentioned before, I usually find those shows boring because its basically watching boring home movies of people talking about ghosts and then everyone acting scared when a door swings open by itself. If I was actually at the event , I would probably be scared, bit watching it on video is kinda underwhelming.  I've seen a lot of movies like this, and most of them have been good, so I have high Hope's for this one.

I have to say that the opening sequence with the little boy trying to retrieve his lost baseball is pretty creepy. Great opening there, guys. I don't like the lead character, the host of the show, but the rest of the crew seem pretty cool. Charisma Carpenter is good as I expected, playing a psychic named Heather who actually has powers and isn't just faking.

I know they're filming a show and all, but I still think I'd hope the fuck out of there once all the scary crap starts happening.  Especially Heather, I mean, she KNOWS all this is real? Contract or no contract,  I'd be out the door. Sorry guys. Film your show without me. Of course, soon it's too late and all hell is breaking loose. Literally, you know. Things get really jumbled here, with a bunch of ideas fighting for space and it doesn't totally make sense, but there's some good gore and some creepy scenes that work in spite of it all. I veer between saying it's a huge mess and it's just not worth the ride, and yet I had fun, so I don't know. There are better movies with this same idea, so you should probably watch one of those instead.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #67: "The Exorcist III"

I saw this movie years ago. I used to own it on VHS (because I am older than the sands of time) and I loved it. I have huge problems with the original "Exorcist," and the second one is just weird as hell, but I thought that the third film was great, for most of it's running time, at least. I say that because the end of this movie really pissed me off and I thought it flew in the face of everything that made the rest of the movie so good. That kind of crap irks me. I decided to revisit it, to see if time has changed my view of things. I figure, if I still hate the ending, I'll still get to see 3/4 of a great movie,  and that's better than nothing.

So in this movie, a police lieutenant sees similarities between his current murder case and the murders committed by "the Gemini Killer," who was executed years before. Soon, he discovers that there is an incarcerated mental patient who claims to be the dead Gemini killer. When the lieutenant visits the mental patient, he finds that the man uncannily resembles the priest who died during the exorcism in the first movie. Baffled by these facts, he searches for any connection he can find between the dead Gemini killer and the dead priest.

George C. Scott stars as the lieutenant, and he does a good job, even though he yells a lot. Seriously, calm your grumpy ass down. He's  mad for the whole movie, even before he has a reason to be. Brad Dourif plays the Gemini killer,  Ed Flanders plays a priest who is a friend of the lieutenant, and Jason Miller plays the mental patient. Everyone does a great job with their performances. They add a lot of class to the movie.

The cinematography is great in this movie too. Seriously, a lot of the shots are beautiful, and the spooky, echoey corridors combined with the music make this movie scary even when nothing is happening but a person walking around. One scene about halfway through the movie is so terrifying I was practically getting heart palpitations just waiting for it to happen again. The first time I saw this movie, that scene scared me so badly that I cried, and I rewound the tape to watch it again (that's how good it is!) and it scared me when it was playing backwards AND AGAIN when I watched it replay. Seriously, great stuff here.

That leads me to my biggest problem with the ending of this movie. Everything in the movie is such a quiet, slow build to terror. Distant sounds of rumbling thunder, whispering voices, and even the aforementioned really terrifying scene is a collection of small, quiet things that create something truly scary when put together. So explain to me why this movie suddenly turns on a dime and decides to throw a big, explosive light show at the end? It would look silly in any movie, but tacked onto the end of this movie it looks ridiculous. That really pisses me off, because I feel like this was a great movie, then the filmmakers all took a bunch of drugs and decided to spend the remainder of the budget on a bunch of fireworks and throw them all at us as punishment for liking the movie. Even after all these years, my opinion hasn't changed. Great movie, turn it off 15 minutes before the end and it will be almost perfect.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #66: "The Burbs"

I've heard about this movie for years, but I've never checked it out before. It was always on my to-do list, though. It's about some suburban men who become suspicious of their mysterious new neighbors who let their yard get run-down and only seem to come out at night. The more they analyze the behavior of their neighbors,  the crazier their theories get, until soon they're totally paranoid and convinced their neighbors are satan worshipping murderers. Funtimes.

When I was a kid, my friends in the apartment complex where I lived all shared my overactive imagination, and we would come up with theories and stories about our neighbors too. At one point, we were pretty convinced that there was a cult of satan worshipping drug dealers in our town, and they all drove cars with "EVV" in their license plates. Yeah, we were nuts. But in our defense, we were kids. The dildobrains in this movie are grown middle aged adults who should definitely know better. Good lord. Yes, their neighbors are weird, but that's no excuse for the psychotic lengths they go to, or why they don't just call the damn police after some of the stuff they find. I'm glad my neighbors are better at minding their own business.

This movie has some bigger stars, like Tom Hanks and Corey Feldman, so it was fun seeing them cut loose and go nuts with their quirky performances. Once all the shit starts to hit the fan, everything just keeps getting more and more insane until there's really no turning back. I think I'll stick with my neighbors I have, thanks. They may be weird sometimes but they don't go to these insane lengths,  and if they have theories about my weird ass, they keep it to themselves. I wouldn't want to live near any of these idiots,  but it was fun watching them in this movie.

October Horror Challenge 2018 #65: "The Relic (1996)"

I saw this movie once before, 10 years ago or so, but it didn't make much of an impact on me. I decided to give it another chance for thos year's challenge and try to pay more attention to it this time.

The movie is about the museum of Natural History in Chicago. A shipment for the new "superstition" exhibit arrives at the museum, with one crate carrying a broken artifact and the other crate mysteriously empty. The boat that was supposed to be carrying these crates showed up with the entire crew dead, and soon there are murders happening at the museum as well. The police are baffled, and the museum staff is preoccupied with an upcoming gala event that will raise money to keep the museum's exhibits running. Yeah, let's have a big party the day after someone gets horribly dismembered in the museum. Seems like a good idea.

This is a classic creature feature. I missed that the first time, but now that I've seen more of the classic creature feature movies from the 40s and 50s and 60s, like "Them!" with the giant ants, I can more easily identify the genre by pattern. Strange deaths occur, police are at a loss, scientists start to identify the evidence left behind, oh crap it's a monster, let's find a way to defeat it. It's kind of fun watching this plot play out in more modern times.

The creature is mostly in shadow, which is good because it keeps it from looking too silly. The acting from the smaller roles is good. The two top billed stars, Penelope Ann Miller and Tom Sizemore, feels kind of flat to me, but once things start rolling, they get better. I think they put too much effort into making their characters "quirky" and it ended up just being weird, sticking out like a sore thumb when everyone else is playing it straight. There's some cool gore and a lot of good, shadowy chase sequences. Overall the movie is a lot of fun. I'm glad I gave it another chance.