Spiders really freak me out. I'm so scared of them that even the obviously fake ones give me chills, so spider horror movies, even terrible ones, are some of my favorites because I know they'll scare me. I've watched this movie before, so I was excited to see that there's a Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of the movie. I could use some snarky, sarcastic comments.
So in this movie, a meteor crashes to earth in the field of a farm owned by some major hicks. The meteor crash creates a black hole, a window into space out of which some giant spiders crawl (or something like that). Soon the spiders are terrorizing the town. Can a guy from NASA and a local scientist stop the spiders before they chow down on the whole town?
None of the charactersin this movie are likeable, seriously. The farmer is a jerk who's cheating on his wife, his wife is a bitter alcoholic, her teenage cousin lives with them and she's a little hussy, the NASA guy is an arrogant jerk, the scientist is a boring blowhard, the local pawn ship owner is a greasy letch. I grew up in small towns, and there are at least SOME good citizens there. Who are we supposed to root for in this movie? I was cheering on the spiders! There's also this big church revival going on at the same time as the events in this movie, and they keep interspersed scenes of the revival with the action, like they're trying to make some deep meaningful commentary or something. Jerks.
There were some good sarcastic jabs in the commentary, and those are what made watching this movie againworthwhile:
"If I should slip into a coma during this movie, please, PLEASE do not take any extraordinary measures to revive me."
"Uh oh, his hair started a grease fire."
"Is there a verse in the Bible that tells us when the end of this movie is near?"
"It came from planet gross-out."
"Remember, don't put your spider in the microwave if you wrap it in tinfoil."
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