You know, people have told me over and over how terrible this movie is, so it's not like I can claim ignorance or anything. I knew this movie was going to suck from the beginning, but I got lazy and didn't want to scroll through a bunch of movies to find a good one, so I figured, why not? It's not like it could be worse than "Island of Death. "
Uh, so this movie is about a famous monster hunter, Van Helsing (played by Hugh Jackman), who travels to a town overrun by vampires, led by the evil and cranky Count Dracula. The movie also stars Kate Beckinsale and her amazing hair. Seriously, her hair is the best thing about this movie. Anyway, she lives in the town and vows to fight the vampires (but she must do a crappy job if they all still live there after all these years). So then Van Helsing kills a female vampire who winds up being Dracula's bride, so Dracula is extra pissed and vows to defeat Van Helsing, and are you still reading this description? I'm sorry.
So this movie isn't TERRIBLE (nothing seems terrible after "Island of Death") but it's silly and campy. I don't think it's SUPPOSED to be funny, but it's so over-the-top and melodramatic that I kept laughing at it. I mean, I'm always up for a good monster fight, but this one is just ridiculous, and it's in desperate need of an editor. At least a half hour could have been cut from this movie and it wouldn't lose anything necessary. It would be better, in fact, because it wouldn't drag as much.
So yeah, not the worst movie I've ever seen, not even the worst movie I've seen today, but it's too silly and boring, and I was already cranky from the other movie I'd just watched, so I probably judged this movie more harshly than I should have. If you're a fan of action horror flicks, this one might be worth a watch. Just don't expect it to be great, and don't watch "Island of Death" before you watch this, because that movie will lodge in your brain and piss you off for DAYS.
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