Ok, since critical acclaim is clearly not an indicator of whether I'll like a movie or not, let's check out a movie that got good reviews but is definitely not a comedy. Enter this movie, which was introduced to me as a new horror movie several times this year, but now seems to be classified as a "thriller." Well fuck you, IMDB, the last movie you told me was a thriller and not a horror movie had dead people coming back to life and people getting sawed in half with a chainsaw. I'll just go ahead and call movies horror movies if I consider them horror, and you can just deal with it, mmmkay?
So this movie is about an indie punk band, living on the outskirts of society, sleeping on couches and siphoning gas from strangers to keep their van running as they travel the country to gigs. You know, real punk stuff. Well, after one particularly gnarly gig, they witness something they shouldn't, and soon they find themselves fighting to survive.
Sounds like fun, right? But does it sound like a horror movie? Let's discuss that. So on the surface, with that plot description, this movie could go either way. Depending on the level of violence and gore, right? Lots of gore means the movie is a horror movie, right? Ok, I'll tell "The Patriot" and "Saving Private Ryan" that they're horror movies now since they're some of the goriest movies I've ever seen. And despite it's title, "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" has barely any gore, and "Psycho" has even less, so those must be children's movies, right? Sounds asinine, right? Of course it does, because I'm being deliberately obtuse in order to make a point. And not the point that I'm a dick. I think we all know that by now.
Here's my point, and it's not just that a movie doesn't have to have a lot of gore to be a horror movie, and just blood and guts alone don't make a horror movie. I think we can all agree we know that already. For me, the thing that makes "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" a true horror movie is the brutality. The main character in that movie is tortured horribly, so much so that I found myself looking away from the screen more than once, and there wasn't even a lot of blood onscreen, it was just brutal and horrifying to me to think of that happening to another person.
Does "Green Room" fit that criteria? For me, it does. Some of the pain and torture our characters went through was horrifying. I actually said "oh God oh God what's WRONG with you?!" when I saw one particular attack, and I've seen a LOT of attacks and killings in movies, over a hundred each October, right? For a scene to unhinge me that way is impressive. I was also on the edge of my seat for most of the duration of this movie, my hand over my mouth when I wasn't yelling at the characters to run, get out, get away. Anything to escape what was happening. Sorry guys, I respect your opinions, but in my very informed opinion, this is most definitely a horror movie, and one of the best ones I've seen in a long time.
What else can I really say about this movie? The acting was great and it really helped draw me into the story and connect with the characters, even when I didn't like them. I'm sure you've heard Patrick Stewart is in this movie, and he amazes me. I've loved him most of my life. I saw him bash a guy's head into a wall in this movie, and I was jealous of the guy because he got to have his head bashed by PATRICK STEWART OMG. That's how good he is. I also really love Anton Yelchin (R.I.P. sir, you were gone too soon) and Imogen Poots and Alia Shawkat (I've wanted to marry her since I saw her in the revival of "Arrested Development" this year, and she's great in this movie) but really, there isn't a bad performance I can think of.
Even people in bit parts gave it their all, as sometimes happens in indie productions like this where everyone actually gives a shit about making a good movie. I'm just stoked. I loved every bit of this movie, especially when it made me cringe. See, unlike some people, when I call a movie a horror movie, I mean that as a compliment. I LOVE horror movies, how they make me look evil straight in the face and live to tell about it. I love horror, and I loved this movie, every horrifying moment.
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