I've never seen "Chopping Mall" before. I know, I know, what have I been doing with my life? I'm ashamed. It's just there are so many horror movies around, and then they keep making new ones. I always wanted to see this movie when I was a kid. It had one of those awesome covers that always caught my eye in the video store, and that title! Come on, CHOPPING MALL? Luckily, as with "Breeders" yesterday, I finally got a chance to see this movie for the challenge this year. I hope it's everything I've ever dreamed of.
So what's this movie about? Actually, I didn't even know the plot if this movie until like 10 years ago. I knew it was horror, and that it apparently involved people getting chopped in a mall, so I didn't need to know anything else to know I'd probably like it. Surprisingly enough, it's not just about some crazed killer chopping people up in a mall though, it actually has a slightly more ambitious plot. It's about a shopping mall that hires a security firm to help prevent theft at their store, and their solution is to build some robots to serve as security guards after hours. The robits are supposed to just detain the criminals until authorities arrive, but of course we savvy viewers know that something's going to go hinky with this plan and the robits will inevitably become killing machines. Whoops!
We are getting pretty riant on technology as a society. Even moreso now than back when this movie was made (in fact what's considered"high tech" in this movie is dated and silly now) but with computers running so much in the world, the idea of technology turning on us seems frighteningly even more likely now. As one of the security firm emlloees says in the beginning of the movie when they're unveiling the robots, "absolutely nothing can go wrong." Haha asshole, thanks a lot for jinxing us, now something horrible is SURE to happen. But it's that arrogant assuredness that our technology is the best and nothing can go wrong that makes these "technology run amok" movies work. Oh no, what if something goes horribly wrong?!
Like I said, the special effects aren't all that special, but the idea behind the movie is still kinda cool. It's fun seeing robots butcher bad guys. And of course, tere are some good guys lurking around, too. Some employees of the mall decide to pick the night they're unveiling the security guard robots to have a big party after the mall closes (sounds like a solid plan). I don't think these characters are supposed to be teenagers (they all look middle aged, but that doesn't mean much in these movies) but they sure are acting like horny kids, having sex in the beds in the furniture store (ew...remind me not to buy a bed there) and drinking wine and hanging around being dumb. It's actually a relief when they start getting killed. Man, these robots are mean little assholes. Burned alive, anyone? It's that kinda party! Once the meyhem starts and the characters start fighting back against the robots, the movie gets more fun (though they trash the place, and boy are they gonna get so fired if they survive). So yeah, the movie isn't great cinema or anything, but it was a fun way to kill some time (hahaha, get it? Kill?!)
Questions do linger after the movie is over. I wonder why the "good guys" spend more time hanging around yelling at each other than trying to find a way to escape. Not a very productive way to spend their time. And why does it take them so long to come up with a plan to try and stop the damn robots? Didn't they get any training on how to control these things before the security company decided to let killer robits loose in the mall? And aren't the police supposed to show up at some point like that one guy said back when he was introducing the robits and insisting that nothing could go wrong? Talk about bad customer service. I smell a huge lawsuit if there's anyone left alive at the end of this movie. Anyway, yeah, this movie is silly but fun. I'm glad I finally checked it out.
No comments:
Post a Comment