Sunday, October 2, 2022

October Horror Challenge 2022 #1: "Hocus Pocus 2"

A lot of people grew up with the original Hocus Pocus as a Halloween staple in their households. Released in 1993, the original Hocus Pocus didn't do so well in theaters, but received a second wind when it was released on video and shown on the Disney Channel over and over again in the following years, so it became a cult classic. I didn't grow up with the movie like most 90s kids did, but I did remember hearing about it and wanting to see it. It became one of those movies that I always wanted to see but never got around to, so years passed, and finally in my early 30s I picked up the movie on DVD and gave it a watch and thought it was really cute. There have been rumors of a Hocus Pocus sequel for years now, but the rumors never came to fruition until finally this year, 29 years after the original movie first premiered, we got our Hocus Pocus 2. I watched it the night it premiered after seeing some less than stellar reviews on Facebook about the movie. I was a tad worried, but I was still hopeful going in that the movie would be a fun romp like the original. So how did it fare?

Set 29 years after the original, this movie follows three young women who accidentally revive the Sanderson Sisters, the three sister witches who wreaked so much havok in the original movie. Set loose in modern-day Salem Massechussettes, the three witches cause trouble once again, and they must be stopped. Hilarity ensues.

Or rather, hilarity TRIES to ensue. It tries very hard. Too hard, methinks. Let me start off by saying that I really really wanted to like this movie. I thought the original was adorable, and people have been making snitty comments about how people didn't really like the original movie, it's just the nostalgia of childhood that makes them THINK they liked it and the movie is actually horrible, but I was an adult when I saw the original Hocus Pocus and I definitely liked it, and I was as excited for the sequel as anyone else who has been waiting 29 years for this movie to materialize. It just didn't do it for me.

The movie starts off strong, with young actresses playing the three Sanderson sisters as tween girls who are fed up with the stuffy rules of ancient Salem. The three girls want to live life their own way, and it's hard not to root for them. When they venture into the woods and meet a witch and learn about their own witchy powers for the first time, I was on their side. It also helps that the three actresses were the best actors in the movie, which made me like them more. When the movie switches to present-day, I found it hard to connect with the three young girls who are supposed to be the main characters. Their acting just seemed really forced and off to me, and I wasn't a fan of their line delivery, or the fact that every plot twist was telegraphed way in advance so I spent the whole movie waiting for the story to catch up with the plot. I couldn't connect with any of the characters. Tony Hale tries his best as the mayor of Salem, and I wanted to like his character, but I just couldn't get there.

Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, and Sarah Jessica Parker reprise their roles as Winifred, Mary, and Sarah Sanderson, respectively, and even their acting seemed really forced and try-hard to me. They just didn't shine in their roles like the three actresses who play the young Sanderson sisters, and I was disappointed. Sam Richardson is busy chewing up the scenery in every scene he's in, and the movie focuses on him way too much for my taste. I didn't care about his character, so I didn't want to see him hogging the spotlight the way he does throughout the whole movie. It just felt like a cheesy made-for-tv flick, which is what it was, but I expecte4d a lot more. They had 29 years to work on it and THIS is the best they could do? Poo. I have friends who really liked this sequel, and I'm glad they enjoyed it, but for my money it was a missed opportunity and a huge disappointment.

Tuesday, September 13, 2022

"Unbroken, Unshattered, Just Maybe Put the Pieces of My Heart back Together..."

Here is an excerpt from "Unshattered," My current work-in-progress horror novel.

=======================================================================================================================

Sheila sat in silence on the bathroom floor, chewing her fingernail, rocking back and forth, trying to ignore the moaning coming from the next room. It had been several hours now, so surely they must almost be done with the ceremony by now, it wouldn’t do for her to get impatient now, no, now was just the time for her to sit patiently and wait. Suddenly she heard a shriek, followed by louder chanting, louder groanings. Things would certainly be ending soon. She ran her fingers through the cold water that filled the bathtub, stirring it around, making ripples that she couldn't see in the dark. Yes. It wouldn’t be long now. She heard one voice groaning louder than the others now, drowning out the other voices, reaching a crescendo, then she heard another shriek, Then nothing but the sucking, slurping sounds. She hated this part. She plugged her ears, humming quietly while she rocked back and forth even faster. She felt it before she heard it, the stomping of bodies climbing to their feet, swaying, moving in unison out of the room, into the hallway, pressing through the bathroom doorway, into the room, someone switched on the light, Sheila rose to her feet, pressing herself up against the bathroom wall, way in the back of the room, recoiling from the bodies as they crowded into the room, still chanting together but not, each seemed to be repeating a different verse, the words blending together into gobbledygook as each spoke, one man leading the way, holding another body, hanging limply, dragging its feet, barely walking, arms akimbo, shirt hanging open, chest stained with blood, still dripping from a wound at the neck. The leader dragged this young man, still a boy really, toward the bathtub, gripping him tightly around the shoulders, pressing him forward, thrusting him down toward the water, splashing him under as his arms flailed, fighting back, slipping and sliding against the walls of the tub, never gaining purchase, sinking beneath the weight of the man who pushed him down, down, down farther, the body sluicing through the water until the young man was submerged, legs now flailing, splashing water, soaking the bodies that leaned in too close, splashing Sheila even as she recoiled, turning her face away, squeezing her eyes closed so she wouldn’t have to see the boy struggling. The fatigue began to set in, the lack of air getting to him, the legs kicked more weakly now, the arms ceased to move under the water as the body began to stop convulsing, then just when the struggling slowed down to nothing, the man jerked the boy out of the water, splashing even more water over the edge of the tub, the boy gasping for breath, coughing, choking, spewing water from his mouth and nose. The man lifted the boy, clutching him into an awkward embrace, and all the while the voices were chanting, chanting. She could hear pieces of what they were saying,

“Both of them have done what is detestable,”. said one.

“Their blood shall be on their own heads,” intoned another.

The boy stopped choking, still drawing in ragged breaths as the man continued to hold him fast. Finally, the man began to speak, louder than the others, with authority.

“New family,” he said, “New family! New family!” The others stopped chanting their random verses and they began to chant along with the man. “New family! New family!” Soon they were all chanting “New Family! New family!” while the boy’s breathing slowly returned to normal. He chimed in weakly, “New family,” he croaked out. The man pulled him up and out of the water, turning to face the crowd, other hands grasping, taking the boy’s hands in theirs, pulling him forward as the man carried him out of the room, dragging his feet behind him.

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What's going on? Who is Sheila? Who is this boy? What in the sam hell is happening? Tune in to find out when my novel is published early next year!

Wednesday, September 7, 2022

Movies I Want to Watch for the Horror Challenge this Year

The Loved Ones - Pluto Martyrs (Remake) - Tubi The Bye Bye Man - Netflix Ouija: Origin of Evil - Netflix The Neon Demon - Prime Video 12 Feet Deep - Prime Video Antlers - Hulu Last Night in Soho - Hulu Hellraiser - Hulu The Black Phone - Peacock Orphan: First Kill- Prime Video Escape Room - Prime Video Escape Room 2 - Prime Video Run Sweetheart Run - Prime Video Halloween Ends - Paramount Halloween Kills - Hulu Raw - Netflix His House - Netflix I'm Thinking of Ending Things - Natflix Mother - Prime Video Fear Street Part 1: 1994 - Netflix It: Chapter One - Netflix 1BR - Netflix Gerald's Game - Netflix Fear Street Part 3: 1666 - Netflix The Wretched - Netflix Ravenous - Netflix Fear Street Part 2: 1978 - Netflix Day Shift - Netflix Till Death - Netflix Coherence- Shudder Tsetsuo: The Iron Man - Shudder Mother's Day- Shudder Basket Case - Shudder American Mary - Shudder Horror Noire - Shudder The New York Ripper - Shudder Summer of 84 - Shudder V/H/S 94 - Shudder Scream, Queen! - Shudder Switchblade Sisters - Shudder Spookies- Shudder The Mutilator - Shudder Leap of Faith - The Exorcist - Shudder The Sadness - Shudder Trouble Every Day - Shudder Fatal Exam - Shudder All the Colors of Giallo - Shudder Birth of the Living Dead - Shudder Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I have the Key - Shudder

Thursday, September 1, 2022

Samaritan (2022)

As soon as I saw the trailer for this movie a few days ago, I knew I had to watch it. I've been a huge Sylvester Stallone fan ever since I first saw him play John Rambo in "First Blood" when I was a kid, so hearing he had a new superhero themed movie coming out was exciting for inner 10 year old me. The movie looked like a lot of fun, and I couldn't wait to head over to Amazon Prime and watch it.

In this movie a young boy named Sam is growing up in a tough neighborhood, surrounded by poverty and crime. This young boy is obsessed with superheroes and the urban legend of one of the greatest superheroes, Samaritan, who disappeared 22 years ago in this neighborhood and who was thought to be dead. Sam is sure that Samaritan is alive and he is determined to find the superhero and hep him take his rightful place as the protector of the city again. Unfortunately, resident bad-guy Cyrus has plans to take over the mantle from Samaritan's arch nemesis (conveniently named Nemesis). Samaritan and Nemesis were superhuman twin brothers who waged an epic battle for power before they both supposedly died on that fateful day 22 years ago, and Cyrus has big ideas to carry out Nemesis' evil plan to take over the city, hoping to succeed where Nemesis failed. He builds an army of faithful followers and even tries to get Sam to join his team. Meanwhile, Sam meets a garbage man named Joe who he is sure is really Samaritan in disguise. Will Sam succumb to the temptation and turn evil, or will he find the strength to resist, and will Joe accept his birthright and the supposedly dead Samaritan rise from the ashes and save the city once again?

This movie isn't known for its subtelty (come on, the bad guy is literally named "Nemesis") but it doesn't have to be subtle, it just has to echo the comic books I remember devouring when I was a kid. My uncle David would always bring comics over for my brother and I when he came to visit, and he was always sure to point out to me the female superheroes (like Storm and Jean Grey from the X-men). There aren't any female superheroes in this movie, but there is a female on the bad guy's crew, and she is the closest thing Cyrus has to a sister, and their relationship adds more dimension to his character. Sam also has an awesome mother who works long hours so he can have a better life, and she's played by Dascha Polanco, who is one of my favorite actresses from the show "Orange is the New Black." It was great seeing her in this movie.

The relationship between Joe and Sam is the heart of this movie, and it goes from one of animosity to grudging respect to genuine caring, and it's fun watching them interact. At first, it's unclear whether Sam will wind up on the right path as he spends a lot of his time hanging out with petty thugs and skirts the edge of joining Cyrus's gang. It's really his friendship with Joe that steers him back to the straight and narrrow (as Joe tells him, there's good and bad in everybody's heart, and you have to make the right choices whom to serve). Seeing the reluctant Joe slowly come around to the idea of being the hero is fun to watch, and the fight scenes are cool, there's lots of explosions and action to keep you entertained and the acting is good enkough to carry the movie through a few rough patches where it gets to be a little preachy. That's ok though, because I remember comic books of my youth being a little preachy too, and I still loved them. Overall, this is a fun movie and one I'm really glad I checked out.

The Lost City (2022)

 

I got major "Romancing the Stone" vibes from this movie when it first came out, and that makes sense, because this movie also features a burnt-out romance novelist who goes on an adventure in the wild jungle, but this movie had Sandra Bullock, who is one of my favorite actresses, so it was inevitable that I would watch the movie eventually, and it just so happened to be today.

Sandra Bullock plays Loretta, said burnt-out romance novelist who isn't feeling the passionate bestsellers that made her famous anymore. She's actually not feeling much of anything since her husband's death, and she doesn't want to put much effort into promoting her books anymore, much to the chagrin of her agent who keeps trying to psych her up for public appearances. She also doesn't have much use for Alan, the Male model who rose to fame with her as the cover model for the heroic man in her romance novels. But when a crazed treasure hunter kidnaps Loretta and takes her to the jungle to help him find a treasure, Alan's bumbling self is the only one who can rescue her. Hilarity ensues.

This isn't the pinnacle of cinematic genius or anything, but it's a fun movie with a lot of witty lines and a memorable ensemble cast who make the movie shine through its somewhat predictable exterior.

Wednesday, August 24, 2022

The Shore by Robert Dunbar (It's About Time)

 Who's chasing who? That's what I wanted to know while I was reading this book for the third time (and ultimately it was me chasing sleep as I stayed awake into the wee hours because I couldn't put it down).


At first, it's unclear exactly what's going on in this book. A monster is killing people. A young boy is chasing the monster. Someone is chasing the young boy. There's a storm coming and it's going to swallow us all whole. What should we be afraid of, everything? It's everything, isn't it?

One of the main themes of the book becomes clear early on when the young boy says that he learned from an early age that appearing "normal" was the most important thing. The boy is an unknown cipher at first. Is he a monster? Since this is the second book in a trilogy, if we've read the first book, we know something about the young boys and their connection to the monsters. So perhaps this young boy is a monster. He certainly appears to be doing some monstrous things. As the book goes on, we hear language from his mouth that we're used to hearing from abusers. He seems to be holding a young woman against her will, she's tied up and her mouth is taped shut, and he says he has to do this to her because he loves her. This kind of language keeps us off balance, because it makes us wonder why the boy is doing these monstrous things if he isn't a monster.
I also recognize the language he speaks when he tells the young woman that he ties her up to keep her safe because everyone outside the doors is a monster. I heard similar things from my own mother, how I needed to be afraid because danger lurked behind every corner, men were monsters and they would hurt us if we let them catch us alone. Where some parents tell their kids that policemen are heroes and that they're here to help us, she went as far as to tell us that the police were the biggest thugs of all, and we needed to be afraid of them, so I grew up terrified of the people who could have protected me. I had a feeling I knew why the young man was saying the people in the town were monsters, I had an inkling of the method behind his madness, but it was still unnerving for me hearing him use this language that is so often used by abusers toward their victims. It made me feel dirty, like my skin was in danger of crawling off and running away at any moment, which was uncomfortable, to say the least.
Then the book introduces us more to the other characters, A man who most surely is a monster, though a much more human one than readers of these books are accustomed to, and a man who we met in the first book who is on the hunt for monsters, and a woman who is doing her best as a cop in a town that is dying in more ways than one, and we get caught up in these characters and their lives as they intersect. The man who hunts monsters and the woman cop start working together trying to stop a murderer, and that's when they uncover a web of abuse that's so sickening it stopped me in my tracks and gave me worse nightmares than momsters ever have, because these monsters were all too real.
Leo Tolstoy once said “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” and that quote stuck in my mind while I was reading this book. At one point the main characters see something we don't always get to see. The "outside facade" of an abusive family desperately trying to hide the abuse behind the appearance of happiness. We see what would appear to the untrained eye to be a "happy home," with all the supposed trappings of a happy family. This, of course, is all an illusion and as they go deeper into the home they see the reality, the darkness and dankness and evil.
Perhaps I should explain why this unnerved me so much. When I was growing up, my family had these periods where we were told we had to appear "normal." My mother pulled my brother and I out of school when I finished Kindergarten and he finished pre-first grade. She paid tuition at an accredited "homeschool" so she would have paperwork that said we were enrolled in school, so whenever someone came knocking asking why we didn't go to school she could get around it by saying that she taught us, but she didn't have the patience to actually teach us, so I had to teach myself to read and write, but whenever the police or social workers came to investigate our home, we were to appear happy and healthy and our mom admonished us to "behave" and be "normal,' and we saw it as our duty to play this role of the happy, well-adjusted child so these workers would go away and leave our family alone. 
Now I realize how stupid this was, and how I should have been screaming as loundly as I could that things weren't notmal and I needed help now! And had I done that, maybe things would be very different now. But as a kid, I played the role because it was what I was told to do. So I'm well acquainted with the "normal happy home" on the outside that hides a dungeon of darkness and death underneath, but I don't think I've ever read a book that described it this well, so this book threw me for a loop when I first read it, and it took me awhile to get over that. Because even now, all these years later, I don't want to talk about the hidden darkness, I don't want anyone to see it, and I still feel like it's my role to help hide it so our family will be safe to keep practicing the secret things that happen in the darkness. But I'm learning that hiding the truth and stuffing it down for years doesn't make it go away, and some of the coping mechanisms we learn when we're trying to survive may keep us from dying but they don't really let us LIVE, and some of the trauma responses that happen right after big traumatic events can happen again even years after the trauma is over with if you stuff it down and try to hide it instead of dealing with it, and all of this can become very messy indeed.
Of course none of this is the book's fault, this poetic little horror tale about men and monsters. It just happened to trigger my trauma response because it hit so close to where my trauma lies, and my body recognized that even though I had buried it deep enough that my brain didn't even recognize it anymore. My body does this fun thing where when I'm triggered, I go into a dissociative fugue state where I can walk around and talk and even interact with people without a blessed clue what I'm doing, and when I finally come out of the fugue I'll have no memory of what I've done or said while I was in a fugue state, and last year while I was in one of these fugue states I broke into someone's apartment, sure that she was my friend Kylie from when I was eight years old, and I was going to rescue her from the man who was hurting her. This resulted in them calling the police and me being arrested and taken to jail, where I spent five and a half months rattling around trying to get the help I needed. I'm writing a book about this experience and I hope you all will read it and listen to me tell my story, but for now it's enough that you know that I wasn't just being a big baby wimp when I put off writing this review all this time, it was my fear of what writing the review might trigger that led me to avoid writing about this book, but I'm learning that you do the best you can with what you know, and then when you know better, you do better, and since hiding my trauma got me nowhere but in a huge mess of my own making, I'm going to try NOT hiding my trauma and see what happens. For now, I think the fact that this book was horrific enough that writing about it sent me into a dissociative fugue is a pretty big indicator of how good the book is (after all, isn't horror supposed to be horrifying?)
But discovering the horror hidden behind the happy family facade only takes less than half the runtime of the book, and there's so much more here. From a grasping attempt at a love story, to a discovery that monsters can wear many more faces than at first we may have thought, to a question of how one is supposed to live after discovering that the monsters are real, to the final confrontation of the family from hell, there's a lot contained within the pages of this book. And in the end, I must conclude (as a wise man once wrote) that sometimes when the horror is over and you're what's left, you just have to live and be grateful for the life you have. As that same wise man also once said, "Don't be afraid." 

In Jesus's name, amen.

Friday, July 29, 2022

Poems Coming Full Circle

 I found these poems today. I wrote them back in 2007, and I'm amazed once again that life comes full circle and these poems are truer for my life than they ever were back then. But I think I'm getting closer than I ever was, so that's good, at least. 2007 Eileen had no idea where she would be in 15 years (2007 Eileen didn't even have the guts yet to go by her middle name, so she was still going around telling people to call her "Lillian"). We've come a long way, baby.

Maybe


In the darkness that has been my home

my head filled with thoughts that aren't my own

My wrists held down so I cannot move

or breathe

or think

or feel

or prove


Something inside that is not me

forced its way in but I let it be

come part of who I think I am

spurting

hurting

blame

shame

sham


I could not remember what was real

I knew what I felt but I should not feel

Inside outside upside down

my tomb

room

closet

hallowed

ground


Dripping blood and sweat and tears

Let go of the faith I'd faked for years

I thought that good could touch me no more

empty

hollow

rotten

core


But soft now, and quiet, a flicker I see

who I am is becoming me

hate still covers this empty shell

but maybe

maybe not

too

soon

to tell


Maybe-just maybe I'm not alone

I have a place; I have a home

No solid report yet that I can bring

maybe

nothing

yet that

may be

everything 


© 2007 by Lillian Patterson



Chance of Rain


Trying to learn to like the cold.

Because I'm always

cold.

So I might as well get used to it.

Right?

And find something I love 

in something I hate?

Isn't that the way to go?

I don't even remember why

I hate it

anymore.

It's been a part of me so long.

The cold

I'm trying to learn to like

(to love).

Trying to learn to touch

to feel

the distant things I cannot reach

a million miles away

under my skin

in my blood

my bones

my marrow

me.


So here I sit

(in this chair

in this house

that isn't home)

an empty shell longing 

to be filled

with something more than

me.

Trying to think of something

else that I could

be.

I miss the feeling

I miss the flood

The rain, the pain, the tears, the blood

the bones, the marrow

me.

Reaching out

into the dark

I find something there to touch

to feel.

I wrap the blanket

tightly 

and try to remember

what it feels like

to be warm.


© 2007 by Lillian Patterson