So this is a funny post to me. Back in 2007 when I sought out author Robert Dunbar's book "The Pines," it was because I had heard his book was horrible and violent and awful, and it was, and back then I thought life was terrible, and this was all we had to hope for, so I read it. And gave me what I thought I wanted. Horror and gore and pain.
See, the book is all about a woman who has a mentally disabled son, and her life is horrible and hopeless, but slowly she begins to discover there may be something more, and beyond the horror there may be hope. And young 20s me, I rejected it. I told people there was nothing there but gore and pain. But parts of the story niggled at my mind. So when a second part to the story was released, "The Shore," I read it. And my heart swelled. Because here, in the midst of all the horror, lay some hope. Finally! And I was afraid, but I was hopeful! And then, months later, came the third book in the trilogy, "The Streets, "and I was afraid (for good reason) but here lay even more hope! And I wanted to share it!
Because here is the bare truth, unedited. Horror has always given me hope. From when I was 10 years old and I saw a movie where people on a cruise ship were fighting Jason Voorhees, and I knew people would always strike out against evil, I knew good would always try to win. And maybe the 8th movie in the "Jason Voorhees" saga was terrible, but maybe it gave me hope and that's ok because the bad might be all around us, but we can still strike out against the evil. And that might seem stupid, and the small good things are tiny against the big, flashy evil that is Jason Voorhees, but we can still fight. Even if it is small, some good is better than nothing.
So 10 year old me, she had lots of non-movie related reasons to give up. But she still had hope. Found in the middle of the horror.
So here comes 30 year old me, who has a college degree and a lot of reasons to ignore the horrors of her past, and a lot of reasons why these books by Robert Dunbar shouldn't be considered "literature, " and here I could trail off into oblivion, but here we also find hope...even the characters who are doomed to darkness and to death, here even the woman from the opening sequences is given a voice as the evil sucks her soul into darkness and to death, here we see her sink into nothing, but she still has something to say. And we know her story mattered. Because she was a person and maybe even our stories which fade into darkness and to death might matter. Because we are people too.
I may not gave the bravery yet, to write about the woman in the book "The Shore," who is abused and beat down but still transforms into some sort of powerful, because even horrific abuse can't hold her down and silence her forever, but soon I will tell her story, and soon her power will overcome darkness and death and I thank God for the power I have, and the power you have, to fight against the evil, even as you sit in the darkness and wait for the sunrise. The night is dark, but the dawn is coming. In Jesus's name, amen.
